8 things only pregnant women will understand.

There are some things in life you need to experience to understand. Like pregnancy. If you have ever been in this (pudding) club, this list will make your day.

Pregnant women glow. They’re radiant with the delighted expectation of new life and the joy of bringing a baby into the world. Right?

Well…sometimes. But let’s be honest. Pregnancy is not all about glowing. At all.

The experience of sharing your own body with a whole other human being is sometimes not all it’s cracked up to be. Don’t get me wrong. It’s amazing and kind of a miracle of nature, but it comes with downsides too.

These are 8 things only pregnant women will understand:

1. Walking up a flight of stairs becomes an endurance event.

No need to sign up for that half-marathon you’ve been considering. As your baby grows your internal organs get squashed up and end up in places they shouldn’t, like where your lungs usually go. That means your breathing capacity gets increasingly limited as time goes on and you find yourself getting a taxi across the city to avoid walking up a hill.

2. You feel overwhelming gratitude for people who give up seats on public transport for you.

Whether you’re on a train for 3 stops, or until the end of the line, when someone offers you their seat it’s basically the same as being offered an all-expenses paid trip to Hawaii. This is the pregnancy equivalent of lounging by the pool sipping (non-alcoholic) cocktails

3. BUT You experience deep conflict when a dear old granny offers you their seat on public transport.

You desperately want to sit down, but there’s something deeply wrong about taking a seat from someone’s granny. Do you politely refuse, and glare at the healthy (male) passengers around you while you and your swollen ankles suffer in silence, or do you take up the offer and watch with guilt as granny is jostled by your fellow commuters?

4. Getting off the couch becomes akin to circus acrobatics.

Pregnant tummies are unwieldy. They throw your centre of balance off, while making it absolutely impossible to bend over or push yourself out of a chair. I’ve been known to roll off the couch in an effort to stand up. It’s very embarrassing and no, I will not post a video of me doing it for your entertainment purposes.


5. You can’t shave your own legs.

It becomes impossible to bend down and reach behind to do the back of your thighs. The day before my son was due 3 years ago I made my husband shave my legs for me. (No way I was giving birth with hairy legs.) I’ll be doing the same again this time. (Consider this fair warning, darling!)

6. People want to touch your tummy.

Some people are okay with belly rubs. I’m not one of them. You don’t get a magic wish when you rub my belly. That’s actually my uterus you want to touch. Seriously. Please ask before you reach out.

7. Your bedside table houses a packet of dry crackers.

No, I’m not just peckish in the middle of the night. I’m trying not to vomit all over my sheets. I’m not having a midnight snack. Dry crackers are a wonder for morning (ALL FREAKIN’ DAY) sickness.

8. Bras with no underwires are the best thing ever.

This is not a joke. Maternity bras are actually the most comfortable thing in the world. Squishing your ever-growing boobs into a regular bra sucks. Get those knockers into a maternity bra as soon as possible. There are some super cute ones these days and they have these nifty clips that open up the front that you should show your partner.

Did we miss anything? What would you add to this list? 

Click through the gallery below for all the T-shirts every pregnant woman needs:

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When a pregnant woman gets on a busy bus…

This woman’s photos have inspired us all.

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