Let’s not even bother with the pre-package.
Let’s not even bother with breathing.
Let us climb the mountain and summit the peak of what can only be described as an achievement in velvet ribbing not seen since, well – EVER.
I truly wish you could have all seen my reaction, I have been told it was quite something. I blacked out you see, from the sheer awesomeness that was Seal’s outfit. My husband tells me it involved me launching myself at the TV screeching:
“IS THAT AN ACTUAL SKIVVY AND ARE THOSE MATCHING PANTS AND OH MY GOD LOOK AT THE RIBBING I THINK IT MAY BE VELVET IT IS VELVET HOLY MOTHER OF PEARL HOW DOES HE DO IT I LOVE HIM.”
The best part was the colour, which could only be described as “lady parts pink”. Oh COME ON as if you weren’t all thinking that! Of course Seal planned to wear a physical and textural tribute to his favourite place in the entire galaxy – a woman’s yonic area.
I am positively quivering with excitement at the prospect of his finale outfit.. I’m petitioning for an entire sequined velvet body suit replete with hood, booties and of course attached fingerless gloves. Nothing else will do.
What do you mean you want me to talk about the singing? UGH.. I feel as though we’ve already peaked with the Velvetron King.
As usual they got straight to the booting off. First up team Joel was to be cleansed of Prinnie and Laykn. Sarah De Bono got through on the public’s vote and Ben was thrown a lifeline from Joel.
Keith lost Brittany Cairns and Adam Something Something but kept the two big guns in Darren Percival and Diana Rouvas.
The first singing performance was finally upon us and it was Fatai with Donna Summer’s classic On The Radio. Fatai has incredible poise and confidence for her age, her disco walk was a tad awkward but that can be forgiven due to the fact she is 12 years old. The step touches and power points were solid as was her voice.
Next up was Delta’s former backing singer Glenn who will now forever be known as Glennberlake due to his Justin Timberlake like qualities. Delta gave him a proper bollocking in the pre-package. There were sporting analogies and aggressive clapping involved, Glenn seemed quite frightened.
Delta finally said out loud what we have all been thinking, you can take the boy out of the backing singer area but you can’t blah blah blah out of the boy. There is nothing wrong with being a rad backing singer which is what Glenn is and has been for 20 years. His performance of Heaven by Bryan Adams was pretty great, just not front man great.