By MONTY DIMOND
My son Bax is 14 months old. He is a typical little boy, meaning he is INTENSE. He is currently sporting gorgeous yellow and brown bruises all over his face as a result of flinging himself head first off the couch.
We have both discovered the hard way that kids are not like cats or balls, they don’t always land on their feet or bounce.
One of the only ways to keep Bax still for a real 30 seconds (you take what you can get) is when I sing nursery rhymes to him. He bloody loves it. A big grin comes across his face and he joyously claps along to my extremely terrible tone.
I never find him more delicious than when he wiggles his fingers in the air while I sing ‘Twinkle Twinkle Little Star’. Those little things keep me from throwing him in the bin when he is driving me nuts.
The other day while my Mum and I were giving a live playschool performance (we gave Benita a run for her money) Mum mentioned how a lot of the nursery rhymes are kinda sinister.
I promptly ran to my reliable mate Google and did a little nursery rhyme researching. Who knew such innocent, catchy little songs came from such dark and twisted places.
I regularly belt out ‘Humpty Dumpty’ and have always envisioned a cute little chubby egg perched up on a wall. But Mr Dumpty ain’t no egg, he is a DRUNK. Yeah, you heard right, a filthy, clumsy, dirty little swine full to the brim of Brandy. I feel like my whole childhood has been a lie. At Easter time are the smarties inside my chocolate Humpty even real smarties? I don’t know what to believe anymore!
“It’s raining, it’s pouring” is another classic nursery rhyme that I’m sure you are familiar with. Every time the rain comes down (living in Melbourne rain comes in bucket loads) I sing it to Bax. I never thought much of this ditty, besides the fact that the old man might have a little headache after the bump. BUT, this isn’t the case. Apparently this song is about an old man with serious head injuries. He is bed ridden and won’t be able to get up….. EVER! There’s nothing like a serious disability to take the fun out of singing this tune to your little treasure.