So this week we open on a very weird scene in which Lydia is shopping at a boutique with her grown-up stepson Sam, and there is some very bizarro chemistry between them.
“He does love beautiful things, I guess that’s why he loves hanging out with his stepmum,” Lydia says. And then: “Sam’s very similar to his father. He’s such a big spunk. Oops, did I say that? Stepmum?” Then she playfully slaps her own wrist, but you get the weird feeling she wishes it was spunky Sam’s butt.
She then spends $1700 on a faux leather clutch, and while spunky Sam is struggling to work out what the word ‘faux’ means, we cut to Gina.
Gina is still caught up on the whole psychic thing from last week. You know; where psychic Jackie was gossiping with Gina’s dead grandma, who told Jackie that Gina’s boyfriend in Miami is cheating on her, so then Jackie told that to Gina and now Gina is really upset.
Except Gina’s trying to make it clear that she’s totally not upset, okay? She also really wants you to know that she’s a barrister, and that’s why she doesn’t believe Jackie was chatting to her dead Grandma. “I’m a barrister,” she says. “I deal in fact. Because I’m a barrister. Barrister.”
Apparently Gina called her partner in Miami and told him that Jackie said he was cheating. He got really mad, so now Gina’s flying over to Miami to see him because she’s definitely not bothered by what Jackie said. Not bothered at all.
While shopping for new clothes to wear in front of her man because she definitely doesn’t think he’s cheating, Gina gets a phone call from Lydia. She tells her that she’s flying to Miami to be with her man because she definitely isn’t worried that he’s cheating on her. She says she doesn’t believe a word that comes out of Jackie’s mouth, anyway. She’s a barrister, okay? She deals in fact, not in psychics who gossip with dead grandmas.
SHE’S JUST GOING TO GET A SUNTAN, LYDIA. Duh.
Cut to Jackie and International Rock Star Ben Gillies in the car. They’re driving around and headbanging to music because they’re totally crazy! They’re not like all the other people on this show, okay? They’re zany!
In what is probably an exact replay of the conversation they had when Jackie signed them up for this show, International Rock Star Ben Gillies looks out the car window and asks, “Where are we going? Where are you taking us? What are we doing?”
At that moment, Jackie realises the cameras have been on them for a full 30 seconds and she hasn’t yet pointed out that her husband is International Rock Star Ben Gillies, so we cut to a talking head of her telling us that her husband is International Rock Star Ben Gillies.