My first year of motherhood was not ideal. I was happy to be a mummy, don't get me wrong, but my husband and I were at each others throats.
We fought over just about everything. We set up the nursery together and attended doctors appointments together and dreamed of how happy we'd be....but not once did we discuss the details of how we wanted our child to be raised. Trying to figure these things out through the fog of new parent fatigue was impossible.
According to studies, the average amount of sleep new parents typically get four hours and 20 minutes of sleep a night.
My husband had two children from a previous marriage so he thought he knew everything. As a first-time mum, I wanted the space and support to figure things out for myself. I was the one left at home with the baby every day and he was at work. As far as I was concerned, he should only give his opinion if asked.
I was too exhausted to discuss every little thing.
I wasn't surprised when I read that couples have, on average, 200 fights in the first year of a baby's life. The study results, published in the Daily Mail, revealed:
* Nappy changing is the most common argument parents have, causing 33 per cent of fights;
* Getting up to do the night time feed causes 24 per cent of arguments;
* 22 per cent of fights are caused because a partner feels neglected;
* Fatigue and exhaustion are responsible for most fights.
A shining light from the survey is that most of the couples, upon reflection, look back at that time as 'the biggest learning experience of their lives'. This is absolutely true.
By the time that first year is over, you'll be closer than ever before. You learn how you each deal with stress and exhaustion, how you want to parent, you'll learn which parenting issues each of you feel strongly about and what you're happy to compromise on.
On a scale of 1-10 how stressful did you find that first year of your child’s life?