By KATE HUNTER AND ALISSA WARREN
So did this show up in your Facebook feed over the past couple of weeks?
The photo is of Gerald Rogers and his new wife, on their wedding day. The photo accompanied a heartfelt post – written by Gerald – called ‘A divorced man’s twenty things to do differently.’
Gerald’s marriage has broken up after 16 years and his list has been shared hundreds of thousands of times on social media. You can read it in full here.
Call us cynical old crones but we got the feeling that Gerald must have listened to Bruno Mars ‘When I was your man,’ a few too many times. So we have added our own commentary on some of his most poignant advice.
1. IT’S NOT YOUR JOB TO CHANGE OR FIX HER… If she changes, love what she becomes, whether it’s what you wanted or not.
Heads up. SHE. WILL. CHANGE.
At some point, your lady love will become a cluster of hormonal hell and living the remainder of your life with her will be as satisfying as licking your fingers after eating an Iced Vovo. Sounds delicious but in the end its just a couple of bits of coconut.
Period. Pre-baby. Baby. Post-baby. Menopause. Hold on tight buddy.
2. Allow your woman to JUST BE. When she’s sad or upset, it’s not your job to fix it, it’s your job to HOLD HER and let her know it’s ok.
Hold. Hold again. And… release. Thank you, lover.
Now I just want to huff at my puffy eyes, have a Milo and go to bed.
So, um, sure, feel free to let me know you “aren’t going anywhere” but you should probably know – I am. Most likely for a wine with my girlfriends or, better still, to file myself away as a Missing Person on Lizard Island.
3. GIVE HER SPACE. The woman is so good at giving and giving … If you give her that space she will come back with new songs to sing.
New songs… After two minutes in the car (alone) – I know who Robin Thicke is. My emu dancing (head only) at the wheel has allowed me a dip into the black hole of pop culture.
For a minute and thirteen seconds, the black hole is a shade of grey. Sure. But don’t think for a second that I have forgotten the old songs. And I still miss Sam Wiggle.
4. Commit to being an EPIC LOVER.
Please don’t. I don’t want to have sex with a legendary hero of gigantic proportions all the time. I don’t want to see a Jay Z/Coldplay collaboration every night. Sometimes I have a better time watching a band sing covers at the pub. You know?
5. BE SILLY… don’t take yourself so damn seriously. Laugh. And make her laugh. Laughter makes everything else easier.