Celebrities are now weaponising the 'poor wall', and we see right through it.

Sometimes a celebrity's best performance can be found within an apology video.

The apology video is always a higher stakes yet higher rewards option when compared to its Notes-app sibling. Unlike the Notes app offerings, often pasted to a celebrity's Instagram stories and destined to disappear after 24 hours, a video apology featuring a recognisable face staring whimsically into the lens is guaranteed to come with more emotional cache.

They also require a whole lot more stage management.

There's the wardrobe to consider, of course – they need to opt for something in a muted shade (white is preferable if they really want to sell that 'injured angel' vibe; grey is the best option when attempting to convey the seriousness of the apology), with a cosy look about it that will ensure the outraged people watching will feel like they've been invited into the celebrity's home. All without a hint of labels or brands on display.

They also need just enough make-up applied so it looks like not even a trace of concealer has touched their cheeks, all so their heartfelt apology doesn't immediately get overtaken by tabloid headlines bemoaning that they somehow look 'unrecognisable'.

Listen to The Spill hosts debate the celebrity 'poor wall'. Article continues. 

Yet with this recent spate of celebrity videos, a new player has entered the apology arena. One that must be organised with equal importance to clothing, makeup, and a script that a slightly frustrated yet not surprised PR guru has carefully crafted for them to follow on a teleprompter.

The 'poor wall'.


A poor wall is a specifically chosen section of a celebrity's multiple-million dollar home that, when cropped correctly in an apology video, gives off the illusion that they, too, are existing in a humble yet relatable abode where they only run the air conditioning on special occasions and full meals are considered a 'sometimes' food.

The origin of the poor wall has yet to be accurately traced, but I surmise it was birthed into this world the moment Gal Gadot shared the infamous Imagine video at the kickoff of the first COVID lockdown. Showing a slew of celebrities staring vacantly into their phones as they sang the iconic John Lennon tune. Urging the public to embrace the need to crowd into their respective share houses and battle their housemates for space at the communal desk. All while glimpses of their opulent homes and spacious grounds were clearly visible in some background shots.

Recently, two celebrity apology videos have been making the rounds, both shamelessly weaponising the 'poor wall' in their battle to silence the incessant headlines calling out their wrongdoings.

Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher posted an apology video after it was revealed they had written character letters on behalf of their That '70s Show co-star and longtime friend Danny Masterson, who was sentenced to 30 years to life in prison for the rape of two women.

The video was carefully filmed in front of a nondescript yet weathered-looking wall, which is all well and good, except for the fact that the co-stars-turned-spouses had shared the entire interior and exterior of their palatial home with Architectural Digest just years earlier...

Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis in front of their chosen poor wall. Image: YouTube 


...Thus allowing us to pinpoint the exact area they had carefully chosen to film the video, which looks to be outside this luxurious barn-style dwelling:


At the same moment in time, Drew Barrymore shared an apology video (which was actually more like a string of consciousness that she quickly deleted from her Instagram page) in response to the justifiable backlash she received after previously announcing her talk show, The Drew Barrymore Show, would resume filming in direct defiance of the WGA and SAG-AFTRA strikes. Which caused the industry to picket outside her studio.

While we have not been granted access to the interior of Drew Barrymore's home (although in my dreams it's strewn with ET memorabilia and the sword from Ever After hangs above her fireplace), we do know that she lives in a very pricey space (I'm just going to go ahead and say 'mansion'). So it was very telling that when she went hunting for a poor wall to film her video in front of, she opted for a situation that looked to be tucked away somewhere between the laundry and kitchen.

Drew Barrymore really leaning into the poor wall aesthetic. Image: Instagram. 


While the words these celebrities were reciting might have been genuine, it just goes to show that when offering up these apologies, we don't require them to come with a side helping of poor cosplay.

However, if any scorned celebrities are looking for a poor wall to film their videos in front of, I'm sure a few people currently navigating the hell that is Sydney's rental crisis can help you out with a fair and honourable deal (no extra charge for the black mould).

Laura Brodnik is Mamamia's Head of Entertainment and host of The Spill podcast. You can follow her on Instagram here.

Feature image: Instagram/YouTube.

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