1. Sam looks very pretty and funny. She seems like a nice girl, so I hope she finds love.
2. There are a lot of bogans in the universe.
3. Where can I get an owl?
4. I’m sick of men on reality shows doing shirtless chin-ups. Stop shaming normal men! Just go for a jog with a loose fitting t-shirt!
5. The weird guitar-playing guy, Will, looks like Savings Brand Ben Lee.
6. How could Blake (from Bachelor Season 2) with his Darth Vader voice dump her? Maybe the Darth Vader voice made him do it?
7. I’m interested investing in International/Milan/Osaka/Tokyo/Sydney model David’s skincare venture.
8. There are a lot of single men in the building industry.
9. Sam’s dress looked like it was made out of Elmo’s body.
10. Alex eats a thesaurus before each show.
11. Sasha looks like an interchange forward who plays for the Melbourne Storm.
12. I don’t know if I’d want to live in a house with that many guys. You know in two days the place is going to be filled with used pizza boxes and mountains of dirty underwear.
13. Each guy either worked in finance or the building industry. And a few freaks thrown in.
14. Alex should polish his head and use the reflected light from the ultra bright spotlights to blind other suitors.
15. If Drew is a Sleep Therapist, does that mean he can enter the Inception world?
16. I’ve done handstands in public and failed, but I was already married at the time.
17. Anyone called ‘Davey’ should be avoided at all costs. No one gets an extra ‘y’ or ‘o’ on the end of their name without doing some very silly things at a party.
18. I found my long lost twin brother. Shane, if you’re reading, we have a lot to talk about and sorry that the most handsome man got voted off in the first episode. Sam clearly has bad taste.
Total topless men in episode: 3
Total number of junk food meals I had today: 3 - Big breakfast, ice cream with chocolate topping, two rows of Cadbury’s Fruit & Nut.
And I’m the one who’s married. Sucked in ab machines!
What thoughts did you have while watching The Bachelorette?