By ROSIE WATERLAND
And we’re back! Episode two opens with Tim doing some contemplative paddle boarding because love is hard and muscles look nice.
While showering on an outside balcony so he can keep concentrating on the sea, Osher comes in… to tell… the girls… that he and Timmy are total BFFs now and he knows that Tim is definitely here for love.
We then cut to the first of many breakaway shots of Ali because after Jolene left she’s the only one who does anything interesting on camera.
Ali is already insisting she’s not crazy, even though we know there’s a secret shrine in her room covered in Tim’s pubic hair that she cut off secretly in the night with those love potion scissors that she bought off an old hippie in Byron Bay.
Sarah gets the first one-on-one date and is relieved because she’s been missing her boo. “Is it crazy that I miss Tim already?” she asks.
Well, you met him last night, so yes.
Tim picks her up in a limo and asks if she’s ever been in a private jet. She excitedly squeals, although it was kind of mean to get her hopes up since he’s actually just taking her out in a three-seater plane that looks kind of like it’s one bad flight away from being a wreckage on the island from Lost.
Cut back to the house and Ali gives us our first “I just hope she’s in it for the right reasons” of the season. The producers forget anyone else exists and just spend the next five minutes in an extreme close-up of Ali’s tear-filled crazy eyes.