beauty

'My 50-year-old body faced the crowd wearing only a sequined bikini.'

‘’Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.” – Albert Einstein

Albert Einstein might actually have been talking about me when he wrote this famous quote. How else can I explain the recurring dieting ritual I – and so many other women – go through every week?

In the early days it was Lean Cuisine. What’s not to love about a pre-packaged lamb roast with minimal calories?

Then Weight Watchers. A diet that allowed ice cream and chocolate had to be good.

Detoxing lemon teas promised startling results, as did barely digestible meal replacement shakes.

Jenny Craig showed ‘before and after’ ads on TV, which meant they deserved a run, and Lite and Easy was clearly convenient. Then there was The Atkins Diet, The Dukan Life Plan, the popular 5-2 (or my version of it, the 6:1) and The Paleo. I actually went caveman before Paleo-Pete Evans even knew what an activated almond was.

But my personal favourite is still Derryn Hinch’s soup diet. Any eating plan that allows a glass of wine will always win me over.

The ridiculous thing about all this yoyo dieting is 1) I have never been particularly overweight, and 2) I am not completely stupid. I know that if there was a diet that worked, the whole world would be slim.

Brigitte Duclos - the before shot. (Image supplied)

So, yes, this pattern of behaviour - which essentially boils down to trying to wipe away a weekend's bad eating with a new diet every Monday - is completely insane. No wonder Bob Geldof and his Boomtown Rats hated Mondays so much. They were probably yoyo dieters as well.

So, I resolved, it was time for change. Time to stick to a plan!

But what happened was not my idea.

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My immediate reaction to the plan was: “Are you bloody crazy?”

Brigitte and her on air partner, Lehmo. (Image via Getty)

But in my attempt to be less judgmental and try new things, I agreed to do it. In would involve eight weeks of intense training and diet. The end goal: a body transformation that would make me presentable in a tiny bikini.

There are times when I get things wrong, and this is one of those times. For me, body shaping was incredible. It combines weight training, nutritious eating and aerobic exercise. I would not have thought the extent of my body's transformation possible in just 6 weeks.

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Admittedly, I had four time Miss Universe Areti Anagnostellis, from Tabban Gym in Melbourne, training me. She wouldn't put up with my whinging and cries of “No, it’s too haaard".

She guided me through a horror four-day-a-week weight training program and changed my diet. She even dared suggest I stop drinking alcohol.

Brigitte 'sculpting'. (Image supplied)

By the end, I had lost more than7 kilos and 10 per cent of my body fat. Last Friday, I revealed my new body in front of a crowd, wearing nothing but a black sequined bikini, some fake tan and a pair of stilettos.

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I have never felt stronger or more alive in my life.

My message to the “body shaping” haters? Throw away your preconceptions and give it a go. The radio challenge is over for me, but body shaping isn't. I'm addicted.

But just to make life interesting, I still plan on completing my weight loss 'To Do' List:

1. Try colonic irrigation. (Apparently you can lose 2 kilos in just one session. I’ve booked a course of three.)

2. Wear Kim Kardashian’s training corset (the paper says this weight loss aid is bad for you, but you can’t believe everything you read)

The end result. Image: supplied.

3. Buy the Abtronic 2 (better than the Abtronic 1, according to Danoz Direct)

4. Attempt hypnosis. (It worked for smoking 15 years ago)

And, most importantly:

5. Get a much older boyfriend. Everyone knows they think you look good no matter what!

Brigitte Duclos is cohost of Brig& Lehmo for Breakfast on GOLD104.3 in Melbourne.

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