by GENEVIEVE LISTON
‘Weatherman Syndrome’ is almost as prevalent as the common cold.
It is the technical term for the curse of the ‘almost good enough’ guy.
I first became aware of this disturbing phenomenon late last year when I was going through one of my self-induced man droughts.
I had decided after dating a series of boys and finding myself discontent with all of them, that I was going to give up for a while. So I took myself out of the game and went on hiatus from men.
One day, over a couple of ciders with a girlfriend, I let slip that I had been going out for breakfast and coffee with my personal trainer. I told her that he was kinda a nice guy and even though he wasn’t really my type, he was kinda cute… so I was thinking about maybe going for dinner with him.
She looked back at me with genuine concern.
“Gen, I’m sorry to have to tell you this,” she said. “But you have what is known as ‘Weatherman Syndrome’. But don’t worry – it’s entirely normal for someone in your situation.”
My situation? What was she on about? And how did she happen upon this diagnosis and what were my symptoms? And if it was so common, how had I never heard of it? Well, apparently it was the overuse of the word ‘kinda’ that led to my diagnosis.
“He’s KINDA funny.”
“He’s KINDA cute.”
And had things progressed, it might have been “Hmmm yeah I guess it’s KINDA a problem that he’s spiking my morning cereal with protein powder…”
She then went onto explain that one lonely night after spending months alone she found herself attracted to none other than the Weatherman. She had watched this same nightly news for years, how could she have possibly missed this? How could she have not noticed how attractive this slightly balding middle-aged man was?! And how totally CUTE that belly he had was!