For most of us who are or have been pregnant (and I'm in the latter camp, so let's not start any rumors), it's the only time in our lives when we feel a little like a celebrity. Passersby smile at us. Strangers want to hold the door. And if we really have to, we can cut in line for the bathroom. But just like famous folks have to put up with their share of difficulties (Gwyneth Paltrow told USA Today the Met Ball was soooo hot and crowded this year), pregnant women have to put up with some common annoyances too. Ours come in the form of people.
The Bean Spiller: A Bean Spiller prides herself on having superhero-like abilities to determine when someone in her midst is pregnant. And, she likes to show off this ability to everyone any chance she has. If you're in the early stages of pregnancy and want to keep your pregnancy private, do not go out to dinner with a Bean Spiller. If you forgo wine, ask for your steak well-done, or even sneeze funny, a Bean Spiller's going to demand to know if you're pregnant. And she's going to do it loudly.
The Celebrity Who Shares Your Due Date: You're never going to actually meet this person, but they're still SO ANNOYING when you come into contact with them in the form of photos in magazines. She's the movie star, rock star or supermodel who shares your due date. And because, as a culture, we now worship at the for-some-reason-never-swollen-feet of pregnant celebrities, you are going to see this famous person the whole damn time you're pregnant. Then — as an added bonus — you're going to see her in a bikini on a magazine cover about two weeks after you give birth.