Last week at a work function, I was told by a woman who I work with that about 12 months ago she had slept with a man named *Jon.
She was confiding in me, saying how bad she felt about the whole thing because Jon has a partner who he has been with for many years. That’s when things started to click in my brain.
You see, I know Jon. He is my boyfriend’s best friend and Jon’s partner *Emily and I have become very close.
Two years ago, Jon kissed another woman in front of me and my boyfriend. I never told Emily because her and I weren’t particularly close at that time and Jon begged me not to, saying that it was a drunken mistake that he felt terrible about.
My boyfriend confessed to me this past weekend that Jon actually hired a prostitute several months ago as well. I am feeling so torn about whether or not to call Emily and tell her.
On the one hand, Emily has become a very close friend. I have a deep sense of loyalty to her and I care about her so much. I know that she deserves someone better and I think deep down she knows as well. Also-what if Jon didn’t use protection and has passed on an STI? If I were in her shoes, I would want to know.
On the other hand, Jon and Emily have had a very dramatic relationship over the years and being an active observer/shoulder to cry on it is my personal belief that they are unlikely to make it in the long run-Jon has many deep rooted issues and Emily has told me that it is hard to see a future with him at the moment.
If I did tell, my boyfriend would likely lose his friendship with Jon (not a huge loss in my opinion but it’s his friend not mine) and Emily would be absolutely heart broken. She has been cheated on in the past with different boyfriends and I know this information would shatter her trust completely.
I don’t know if she would even believe me and I run the risk of having everybody hate me for ruining our group of friends.
Should I let this relationship die of natural causes or should I step in and give my friend all the information?
Over to you, MMers. Should Anonymous tell her friend that her boyfriend is cheating on her?
Top Comments
You corner Jon and you explain that he has a specific, set time period to tell Emily the complete, unvarnished truth - or at least what you know of it, there is definitely more, I mean, the guy is using prostitutes, risky much? - then if he doesn't do the decent and fair thing, you tell her. She needs to know the risks she's taking. He's having a great time, lying, cheating, exposing her to all kinds of things... with no knowledge. You know, thus are also denying her the knowledge that she should have. If the friendship ends, so be it. If your partner doesn't like it, frankly, it would raise questions. I mean, who defends that kind of thing? Would he want to know if the shoe were on the other foot... ?? Food for thought... tell him he has - say - 48 hours - and then you get on with it. You are lying by not telling her. She will feel unbelievably stupid when it comes out, yes WHEN it comes out that you all knew and were lying to her face. That's a friendship-ender right there. It is your business, Jon has made it so.