Meet Brynne Larson (18), and Savannah (21) and Tess (18) Scherkenback. Marie Claire called them “the Charlie’s Angels of exorcism”, a monicker which they have clearly taken a little too seriously, based on the photo above.
Jokes aside, exorcism is actually what these girls do. These three unassuming chicks visit people who have what they believe to be troubled souls, and perform exorcisms on them, casting out the demons that they believe are cursing them.
The girls attend The Spiritual Freedom Church, a non-denominational Christian Church in Scottsdale, Arizona. Its head is Reverend Bob Larson (Brynne’s dad) who is the self-professed “world’s foremost expert on supernatural phenomena.” He crucified his own televangelist career late last year when footage of him performing quite a confronting exorcism on a gay man went viral.
He still makes quite a good living for himself running The International School of Exorcism (a private college that does what it says on the tin) as well as selling demon testing kits (advertised with link bait that I may or may not have fallen for during the research for this article.) But, nowadays, Rev. Bob’s main vocation is training up Brynne, Savannah and Tess to be the next big thing in the world of Evangelical Christianity.
The teenage exorcists are the subject of a new Vice documentary, which follows their travels across Eastern Europe.
(Fun Fact: Evangelical Christianity is experiencing huge growth in formerly-Communist Eastern Europe – there’s even a Hillsong in Kiev. So it seems only fair that the Jesus-generated big money of the American South should capitalise on that combination of poverty and a desire for faith by sending out exorcists. Instead of, you know, aid.)
You can watch the whole thing by clicking here. But, be warned, you are signing up for half an hour of back-to-back exorcisms with an odd smattering of crazy Ukrainian share house antics.
Not from the teenage exorcists, of course. They were too busy giving enlightening interviews like the one that comes up at 14:00. Here’s a brief summary:
1. Satan doesn’t just enter people willy nilly. He has to have a “legal right.” Apparently, this legal right is normally given through the sort of intense emotional trauma that would normally be treated through something other than a crazy person screaming at your face. Which tier of government is passing these laws and how can I vote them out?
2. If you go to a ‘dodgy prostitute’ you won’t just get a Sexually Transmitted Disease, you’ll also get a “Sexually Transmitted Demon.” Do demons travel through other bodily fluids? Would it be easier for this whole exorcism thing to happen through someone licking an ice block, to excrete all of their demons out of their saliva? These are the questions that I want answers to.
3. You need to give someone an exorcism after they’ve watched Twilight. Not just because of the supernatural element, but because the storyline is cr*p. That actually sounds legit.
4. But, you also need an exorcism after watching Harry Potter. Boo.
5. And, presented without comment: The person who inspires them most in American society is Margaret Thatcher.
So… teenage exorcists. What do you think?
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