“I’m not a woman basher, you don’t have bruises on your face.”
Those were the words my older, cooler 17-year-old boyfriend told me when I was just 15. This little gem was slotted right between a hard punch to my thigh and a pledge (more like a demand) to run away with me when I turned 16.
That little statement has stuck in my mind for a decade now, and as I get older and wiser, it gets more ridiculous, funny and scary.
I have never been more afraid as I was as a 15-year-old in a violent relationship. I have also never been more alone.
The older I get, the more I realise how scary my teenage relationship was, and how I thought it was the norm. When I imagine being in a similar relationship today, I am filled with absolute horror.
At a time where I was supposed to be living carefree, hanging out with friends and making beautiful memories, I was being subjected to emotional, verbal and physical attacks. I was constantly reminded that I was fat and useless and, to top it off, I was forbidden from seeing my friends.
You see, he was not in school and he lived alone. So, any time I wasn’t in school, I had to spend with him. And if I didn’t, oh boy, s**t would hit the fan.
Listen: It hasn’t been an easy road. But the Mamamia Out Loud team discuss everything that happened back in 2015 that meant we began to take Domestic Violence seriously. Post continues after audio.
I once worked a double-shift at my weekend job and this did not go down very well with him and sent him into a spiral of rage. He did burnouts in my yard (sorry about the grass, Dad) before coming into the supermarket I was working at.
Top Comments
Omg, seriously why didn't the parents step up and put a stop to the relationship!? No amount of pleading ignorance would cut it in this case...older boyfriend not in school doing burnouts on the front lawn? Breaking into the house drunk underage!? And if your daughter is sleeping over 'at a friends house' you bloody well call the parents of said friend and check!! This poor girl was let down by those who were meant to protect her.
Agreed.
Yep, parents culpable here.