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Mamamia recaps Succession: IT'S TIME TO GO FULL F**KING BEAST.

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It's been a long wait, full of angst, that really unfortunate global pandemic, and for me personally, a bizarre amount of dreams involving Cousin Greg.

The Roys disappeared at the worst possible time. With the world as we know it falling down around us, we really could've done with a family of sociopaths in-fighting as a distraction.

We had to suffer through it all without them. It was hard, and I never want to do it again, but we've finally made it out the other side.

Happy Succession Day to all who celebrate.

We bloody did it, we made it. Image: HBO.

When we last saw the Roys, prodigal son Kendall had just publicly thrown patriarch Logan under the bus, saying his father knew about his company Waystar Royco's history of sexual and human rights abuse.

So yeah, it's all chill in camp Roy.

The fam (minus Ken) and allies are holed up in a Mediterranean airport trying to figure out their next move. They've been through a lot of sh*t over the past two seasons, but never has Logan's - and Waystar's - reputation been this... precarious.

Socially, and maybe also legally.

He is, as Frank and Karl politely state, "f***ed".

Kendall also needs a little time to process everything. I mean, fair. It's a lot. And this particularly hard, round bathtub feels like a good place as any to ponder the World War III he's just begun with his father.

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I meant it literally when I said 'a little time', FYI. 

Two seconds later its action stations. Straight... into a Waystar company vehicle. 

The company he just blew up? Correct, but frankly, we're not here for Karolina's negativity. This is 1000 per cent going to crash down around him at some point, but let Kendall have his moment.

THIS IS THE RIGHTEOUS VEHICLE AND IF SHE'S NOT IN, SHE'S OUT.

SEE YA. Image: Foxtel.

Meanwhile, neither Shiv nor Roman know what they're actually thinking. I mean, they're thinking that they need to back Logan. But they're also thinking he's toast. And they are thinking that they definitely shouldn't be thinking about what will happen if he is toast.

Ken gets to hiring a lawyer named Lisa Arthur and puts Cousin Greg in charge of sliding the socioeconomic thermometer up the nation's arse, which is solely how I shall refer to Twitter from here on out. 

Greg notices the Pope followed Kendall. Well, a pope, not the Pope.

Logan gets Kendall on the phone. Or uh, Logan gets Jess on the phone to act as conduit for these two dudes swinging their d*cks around. 

Jess does not get enough credit. Her "hiii" is a thing of beauty. 

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Logan is going to grind up Kendall's f***ing bones to make his bread. And Kendall is going to run up a f***ing beanstalk, or something. Logan thinks this is all just another power play and congratulates Kendall for outmaneuvering him. He asks what Ken wants in exchange for his loyalty again, but Ken insists they're no longer on the same side, he finds Waystar's culture of coverup abhorrent and says that he's on the right side of history. 

This enrages Logan because he doesn't... get it. Succession is all moves and power and influence, so how can anyone - especially his own son - be acting out of anything other than self-interest?

This time, it's Logan's turn to call for action stations, and his group feels a little more adept than the family's delightful but bumbling two-metre-tall cousin. Sorry, Gregory.

#TeamLogan, assemble. Image: Foxtel.

As intriguing as Roman's idea to chop his brother into millions of pieces and throw him into the Hudson River is, they decide their first move is to get the US government onside. 

Unfortunately, the President knows the optics of calling a dude who was just accused of covering up major crimes is probably not great, even in the United States' batsh*t political landscape, relegating Gerri to an unpleasant call with a lower-level senator.

Kendall starts recruiting: he calls Frank, Gerri, then Shiv, but none of it... goes great. No one believes he can win yet, so why would anyone defect? 

These people want power, and Ken still hasn't proved he has any.

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Also, how long has Kendall been driving around Manhattan at this point? The Roys waited at least an hour for those planes. THIS FAMILY AND THEIR FOSSIL FUELS.

I guess they do have to give Cousin Greg a chance to get through the entire internet.

The episode's best, most disturbing line comes courtesy of everyone's favourite tall man.

Greg says their escape from paparazzi is like "OJ, except you didn't kill anybody".

"Who says I didn't kill anybody?" Kendall retorts, with a sinister smile.

Image: Foxtel.

KENDALL, MAYBE SHUT THE F*** UP ABOUT THAT.

Lisa Arthur becomes the episode's main battle, the first in what is likely to be a long, painful war.

In Croatia, Logan and pals want to pursue her. They don't know they're on the back foot, timing wise, but Shiv is an old friend - so surely they have the upper hand here?

Image: Foxtel.

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The Waystar Royco group split in two (or three, if we're counting Connor and Willa... but since when do we count them?): Logan and the execs are off to Sarajevo - where they can get fancy accommodation at the last minute, but also where there is no extradition treaty with the United States. Shiv, Roman and Gerri return to New York.

Tom and Shiv have a totally normal goodbye chat, before Logan gives Tom, Karl and Frank the plan of attack. Basically, lawyer up because "IT'S WAR, F*** OFF".

Logan will step back as CEO, temporarily, and mostly as a symbolic gesture. The only viable options to step in are Roman, Shiv and Gerri, so Tom runs to the bathroom to alert his wife.

All I want in life is to be rich enough to make phone calls on a plane.

Frank texts Gerri, who tells Roman because you know. Plus, she's just a very straightforward person. 

Roman calls Logan, to make a case for... himself, but also Gerri. Which ultimately means he's accidentally-on-purpose only making a case for Gerri, because if there is one thing Logan does not want in a successor it's... someone who can compromise.

With Roman out of the race, Shiv can win if she can secure her old lawyer friend Lisa Arthur. Except she... can't. They're too late.

In a weird loss of chill, Shiv then asks if Lisa can help her navigate this "f*** pie". But Lisa can't do that either, because she has already hitched her wagon to that "disingenuous f*** doll", Ken.

God, how good is it to have Succession's insults back in our lives. 

Roman is horny for Gerri, obviously, when she gets a phone call from Logan.

IT'S THE OLD HEN'S TIME TO SHINE, BABY.

I've been a longtime believer that Greg and Tom are the heart of this series, but BOY OH BOY do I love Roman and Gerri. And I think the season three poster featuring the pair is hall of fame-level stuff.

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A power non-couple for the ages.

Oh, and Roman's definitely going to be even more horny for (interim) CEO Gerri now.

Image: Foxtel.

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Having driven up, down and around Manhattan 30 times, Ken eventually sets up camp at ex-wife Rava's apartment.

Cousin Greg has handed over his media monitoring to someone who can probably tell the difference between a pope and the Pope. He waffles on and on and I JUST NEED TO KNOW, WHY IS THIS MAN SO ENDEARING?

Ken enlists a new PR team, and secures Lisa Arthur as his lawyer.

#TeamKen is looking a little less lanky, especially after poor Greg gets a dressing down for opening up one of Rava's very old bottles of wine.

These people have such weird problems.

Logan is preparing to "suck d*ck for three hours" in board meetings when Kendall calls with some good news.

Lisa Arthur is officially his lawyer.

Ken 1. Logan 0.

Logan yells that it's time to go "FULL F***ING BEAST", but he's still hiding out in a strange city, having just lost the battle. The balance of power has switched, and everyone knows. So, who's going to be the first defector to knock on Rava's door?

Chelsea McLaughlin is Mamamia's Senior Entertainment Writer. For more pop culture takes, sarcasm and... cat content, you can follow her on Instagram.

Feature image: Foxtel.

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