I don’t love my husband.
I haven’t done for quite a while. We used to be madly in love but too much has happened. Any love we had died a million betrayals ago.
I know I’ll never be happy again in this marriage.
And yet I can’t leave. It would be too harmful to my children. I know that for a fact. My children and I have watched their friends go through divorces, my oldest in particular. His best friend was in the middle of a custody battle between his parents. One day he came home and said, “If you and dad ever get divorced and start fighting over me, I’m going to go outside and kill myself.” He was nine.
His words left me feeling ill. Firstly, I didn’t know he even understood the concept of suicide and secondly, I knew I was stuck with my husband for the time being.
Watch the trailer for Girlfriend’s Guide to Divorce below, where the protagonist tries to stay in the marriage for the kids. Post continues after video.
My husband knows how I feel. It took too much energy to hide it. I told him that I don’t love him because of all that had happened but that I was committed to our marriage for the sake of our kids. I said that I hoped through friendship the love would return but for now, I was just trying to get through each day.
Top Comments
You say that your husband has asked what he can do to save the marriage: that sounds like he'd be open to getting professional counselling and help, which should help determine whether he really is incapable of change, or whether he just can't do it within the current framework of your marriage. Bringing in other people to whom both of you can be accountable can make a huge difference. And it may help you work through your own feelings and decisions as well. Maybe it's too late by now, but I wish you well.