This article was originally published on Shannon Colleary’s website which you can find HERE. Shannon is a successful author and relationship sensei; aka life coach. She also has another successful and highly entertaining website, The Woman Formerly Known as Beautiful.
Last month I had a mild midlife crisis after dancing in a gay club with attractive, sweaty young men who humoured me.
I came home a bit disgruntled by the sexual stasis in my long-term marriage with the most interesting (and loving) husband in the world.
We discussed it and, although he was too tactful to admit it, I suspect things have been just as routine for him.
What to do? Sex clubs, polyamory, key parties or anything smacking of BDSM (pun intended) wasn’t going to be in our repertoire.
Cut to the discovery of sexy, gloriously north-of-fifty author, Laura Corn’s book 101 Nights of Great Sex.
You mean someone was going to tell me exactly what to do the next 101 times my husband, Henry, and I made love? And all I had to do was follow instructions and not tax my menopausal brain?
Two clicks and two days later the book arrived.
When I opened it, I was startled to see what I thought were a bunch of blank pages, but after deeper perusal, I realised each page was a little envelope that readers tear out of the book and pry open.
And inside each one of the 101 little envelopes is a sexual task.
Some of these tasks are for her eyes only and the rest for his eyes only. And you're not supposed to tell your partner what your task entails, as part of the success of seduction is the element of surprise! (This also works well for bank heists, just FYI).
So, I ripped open my first envelope on Friday night. It was provocatively titled "The Velvet Tongue" and was unbelievably simple. All I needed was my man and any kind of hot liquid.
I bade Henry get in bed. We somehow managed to have two hours of an empty house as our daughters were off hitting softballs (why is it everything I write now sounds to my brain like a sexual innuendo?).
I went into the kitchen and turned the tea kettle on. From the bedroom Henry yelled, "The sound of boiling water does not inspire confidence!"
I yelled something along the lines of, "Shut up and get naked!" He didn't reply as, I can only assume, he was disrobing at lightening speed.
Once the water was good and hot I poured it into a cup with an Orange Blossom herbal tea bag (again, sexual innuendos coming, so to speak, to mind).
I dropped one ice cube into the tea to help it cool a bit faster then headed for the darkened bedroom where I could just make Henry out, sprawled atop the coverlet like Venus on the Half-Shell.