Dear producers of So You Think You Can Dance Australia,
My name is Mary Ward and I am one of the – disappointingly few – people who watch your show.
Firstly, I’d just like to congratulate you on a great season of universally underappreciated television.
I think So You Think You Can Dance is awesome. I really do. I think it’s a fantastic opportunity for young artists. I think it’s a reality show that actually rewards hard work, as opposed to pot luck.
I also think it is one of the few reality television shows that isn’t full of manufactured feuds and bitchy characters (listening, MKR?).
I have the biggest girl crush on Lauren and her message of body positivity/incredible core strength. Michael is the most driven 18-year-old on the planet. Every single contestant on your show was just a really stellar human being, and I think that is a testament to the integrity of the platform your show provides.
But, you know how people say that you should give negative feedback in a criticism sandwich with compliment bread? I’m about to dish out your filling.
Last night’s ‘performance’ – and I use that term very loosely – by Jason Derulo was not okay.
For the 99.99999 per cent of Australia (seriously – why didn’t more people watch this show?) who missed it, here’s a video:
Yes, we did just see a young woman’s arse cheeks.
Now, call me a prudish pearl-clutcher, but there are lots of styles of dance I like to watch on So You Think You Can Dance at 8pm, and whatever that was is not one of them.
The back-up dancers’ costumes were the sort of trash you would never have your contestants step out in. Not in the least because it’s pretty damn uncomfortable to dance with hotpants riding up your bum.
And I don’t think I even want to start unpacking the words coming out of Derulo’s mouth. “If I take pictures while you do your dance/I can make you famous on Instagram/Hot damn it your booty like two planets/Go head and go ham sandwich.”