sex

The first photos of the 'smart condom' have been released. And... charming.

The trend that is ‘digitally recording everything or else it never really happened’, has finally (we all knew it was coming) reached the bedroom.

A ‘smart condom’ is being released by the company British Condoms and – though news of its pending arrival broke earlier this year – the first pictures of the ‘fitbit for sex’ were released on Tuesday.

It doesn’t look like a condom and don’t be deceived: there’s a catch. It doesn’t act like a condom, either – there is no protection against STIs and pregnancy is certainly possible.

No, the ‘i.Con’ is purely and simply a digital way to ‘keep score’, just in great detail.

i.Con smart condom. Image via British Condoms.
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It sits at the base of the penis and measures the number of calories burnt during intercourse; the number and speed of a man's thrusting; the duration and frequency of his sex; and how many different positions he uses over the course of a week, month or year... Charming.

Oh, and just like the running kind, the i.Con allows him to compare his performance with others from around the globe. (Brilliant - we certainly need more competition when it comes to men and sex.)

Listen: Former sex worker Samantha X speaks to Mia Freedman about the things she learnt on the job. Post continues after. 

For just $103 Australian dollars, any man game enough to track his 'performance' with his smart phone and a d*ck ring, can pre-order the i-Con online.

Ladies, for us it can serve as a warning beacon, if nothing else: Every thrust, position and orgasm you share are about to be recorded. It just might be enough to turn you off completely.