Being a mom is tough … especially when you’re single.
As a mom, I’m constantly worried about my kids. As a single mom, I’m a constantly crazy worried about my kids. Am I working too much? Am I too poor? Am I missing important moments?
The answer to all of these questions tends to be a resounding YES. When you have limited everything: time, money, help, breathing space — everyone suffers. I take this personally.
After all, my kids didn’t ask for life with a single mom — and to be honest, I didn’t either. I began mommyhood assuming I’d be the next great June F*cking Cleaver. I found my prince, said my “I do’s” young, and starting popping out tiny humans to inhabit our picket home like a bunny rabbit on crack. (Post continues after video.)
Fifteen years and four kids later, the prince ran away and I got left juggling a heavy sack of sh*t— AKA everything. Kids, income, house, school, vacations … they’re all mostly entirely up to me, and it can be exhausting.
My kids get it. They’ve watched our lives devolve from stay-at-home-greets-you-at-the-door-with-homemade-cookies to work-like-a-mofo-mom-tries-to-do-it-all-and-fails-miserably-most-days. I’m hypersensitive to this.
Top Comments
You provide a secure and loving home. That's all that kids need. Be gentle with yourself. You're doing a great job.
I grew up with a wonderful Mum and supportive loving Dad. My Mum did everything for us - all the washing, cleaning, cooking - she was still making my lunch to take to school when I was 17. It sounds wonderful, but as a result when I moved out of home I was useless. I didn't know how to use a washing machine, and being tidy and cleaning still don't come naturally to me. I love my parents and they did what they thought was best out of love - but it did me no favours. The best thing you can do for your kids is Instill that sense of responsibility and basic life skills so that they are capable human beings when they are on their own. Most of the fights I have with my husband revolve around my inability to even see the mess, let alone clean it. 15 years and two kids down the track I'm getting there, but both my boys (2 & 6) already have age appropriate chores, and always will. I think you are doing a great thing for your kids, well done!
You invalidate Mollycoddle's experience because you had a different one? Wow, rude.
All I ever did was fix my bed and clean the bathroom in the 23 years I lived at home, and had to teach myself how to do most things like cook and clean and keep a house tidy - but I wanted to eat tasty home cooked food and like some tidiness at home, so it didn't take long. I think if you find it a struggle after 15 years, it is probably more to do with your own priorities rather than what your parents did/didn't teach you. Some people just don't think a tidy house is a priority, and that's fine.