Sometimes things disintegrate slowly, but often there is a moment – one that you feel in your gut – when you know it’s over. That might not be the moment things actually end, but it’s most definitely the moment you see the writing on the wall and, with hindsight, you can pinpoint with heartbreaking accuracy.
Mamamia asked seven women to revisit the exact moment they knew their relationship was over.
Side note – team Mamamia confess the worst excuses we’ve used for a breakup, post continues after video.
1. Beatrice – ‘I hated the idea of moving in with her.’
‘I’d been dating my girlfriend for 18 months when I decided it would be better for my career to move from Hobart to Sydney. The plan was that my girlfriend would join me as soon as she finished uni. But once I’d settled into my new life, every time she brought up the idea of moving in together, I realised I was dreading it. She was so needy and kept talking about how we could stay in every weekend, which was not the life I wanted in a brand new city. I realised that if she moved, I’d be trapped – because making someone move then dumping them would clearly make me an arsehole. So I broke up with her.’
2. Courtney – ‘I found myself attracted to someone else.’
‘I was doing a long distance relationship with a guy I was completely in love with. I was considering moving to be with him, even though he had already cheated on me twice. I was at work one day and a guy came in as a guest and was being shown around our office. I got talking to him and immediately realised he was lovely. We got on and ended up speaking for literally an hour about our personal lives and careers. I realised then and there that I was being treated horribly and I had feelings for this random guy because he was so lovely, completely understood me, was listening to me and was funny – all of the things I wasn’t getting from my current relationship. I broke down in tears and called my mum because I felt so bad for having feelings for a random stranger who wasn’t my partner.’
3. Alice – ‘Our Instagram perfect romance was a lie.’
‘I had a real whirlwind romance with my ex. For our first date, we ended up going on holiday – and while we were on that holiday, we booked another holiday together. He sent me flowers every week and showered me with gifts. It was real rom com stuff. But after just a few months together, the cracks began to show. We started to fight and I saw sides of his personality I really didn’t like. The moment I realised it was over between us was when I was scrolling through my own Instagram feed. I realised that behind every single smiling selfie of us or #couplegoals image, there was an argument or a bad day or some other sort of negative experience. Our entire relationship was a front, and so I ended it.’
Side note – Mamamia’s Jessie Stephens has crafted the very best breakup text, should you need it. Post continues after audio.
4. Lisa – ‘I saw a Facebook message I wasn’t meant to see.’
‘I was logged into my boyfriend’s Facebook, purely with the purpose of posting a jokey status about how cool I was when a message popped up from a friend of ours. Of course, I read it. It said something along the lines of “have you told her yet?”. My heart fell out of my arse, the room started spinning and I thought I was going to throw up. I called him immediately in tears and he said “I can’t believe you’re on my Facebook” and hung up. He changed his password straight away so I was bumped out. I kept calling and he answered and said of course he’d changed his password because I’d invaded his privacy. The next day he came to my house. He said he was confused and that he’d met someone but they hadn’t done anything. He said he had feelings for her. I cried then we started making out. I somehow thought that by kissing him with my lovely puffy snotty face he’d realise the mistake he’d made – and then he left. We agreed it would be good not to talk for a while. And he said we were done.’