real life

Shower caps. Ears in or out?


Hanging out on Twitter recently I stumbled upon this question:

Shower caps – ears in or out?’

Having a wife who has a collection of shower caps I felt it was a topic that I could relate to.

I understand the usefulness of the item.  I know that it’s not every day that most hirsute people want or need to wash their hair. Me, I go through periods of being a long-haired gent but suffer from oily hair syndrome (do I blame my dad’s or mum’s side for that?) So be it long or short, I’ll wash it daily.

My wife is the opposite; her hair is not the sort of hair that needs to be washed daily but (I am thankful of this) she DOES have a daily shower.  And this is where the shower cap is part of her life.  But, did it really need to be part of mine?

I am not saying that my wife is not gorgeous (she is) but as a guy, when you think of women in the shower (it’s not a daily thing, but…) you think of the women on the Décore adverts, or the Rheem commercials, or Beverly D’Angelo in European Vacation.  But the first time I saw the love of my life in a shower cap I had flashbacks to my childhood and my mother wearing hers.  And that’s what made me ask the question; how soon is TOO soon…?

There’s a mystique in a new relationship. Although I knew ‘this person’ was not going to be one hundred percent perfect, my expectation was we’d live comfortably hiding those faults from each other until the honeymoon period was over – you know, sometime after the actual honeymoon.

But not for me. The shower cap reared its ugly head within the first few weeks.  Still, as much as I loathed it, I remained quite fond of her.  And I thought, if this is the worst that she has to offer, if hiding her lovely long locks from the scary water is her only fault, then I am going to be one happy guy.

But it wasn’t.  And it isn’t.  And there are more of these faults revealing themselves to me even after three and a half years later.

So damn you shower cap, damn you to hell.  You sucked me in to a false sense of security.  You made me believe nothing could disappoint me after you came into my life.  But thank you. Thanks for making me realise that real life is not sung to the tune of ‘Duke of Earl.’

Darrell Milton is a song writer, poet, speech writer, musician, writer of short stories and a social media junkie. You can follow him on Twitter here.

What should you wait a while to wear or do in front of a new partner?

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