This mum doesn’t want her kids to do any after-school activities. Does she need help?
My kids don’t do any before or after school activities at all and they never will. I don’t think this makes me a bad parent, but not everyone agrees.
I’m giving my children the same upbringing I experienced. My sisters and I didn’t do anything while all our friends signed up for Girl Guides, netball and dance classes. We spent every spare moment making up games, hanging out at home, playing in the back yard and visiting relatives.
Children do too many activities. I have some friends who drive their children around to various activities every weekday, plus weekend sport. When do they get to relax? Sunday? One day a week? There's got to be more to life than that.
I have three children, so if they all do one activity each I will be sentencing myself to the same miserable existence as my over-scheduled friends and for what? So they can play a wind instrument for a few years and never touch it again? So they can play soccer only to abandon it when they become adults?
If my children are interested any pursuits they can do it under their own steam when they are much older, when it can actually lead to something. Right now, they are 14, 12 and 5 they are happy, healthy and looked after.
Sometimes my daughter who is 12 asks about dance classes and when I say 'no' she simply makes up her own routines at home. It's a pleasure to see.
I have freed up my children's spare time so they can think, relax, chill, imagine... If others did this, they'd save themselves a heck of a lot of stress and pressure as well as save themselves thousands of dollars.
BUT, I am under pressure from my husband and some of my friends to change my stance. They think my kids are missing out, and worry that they're too 'different' from the kids around them. My husband, in particular, is keen for our oldest son to start football this season.
Should I stand firm? Do you agree that after-school activities have become too important?
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Top Comments
I absolutely disagree. While I understand that it can be stressful and an expensive endeavor to have a child enrolled in an after school activity, allowing your child to develop in areas other than those covered in school when the child shows an interest are extremely beneficial. The child showing interest is key here. If your kid is passive about the activity or doesn't enjoy it, than they shouldn't do it. And not every kid is going to have an interest in doing something out of school. But saying that they can't, no matter how much they want to, is cruel.
I am especially bothered when you say, "If my children are interested any pursuits they can do it under their own steam when they are much older, when it can actually lead to something." The assumption that the after schools they participate in now will not lead to future PAYING CAREERS is completely false and ignorant, and by not allowing your child to pursue something that they are passionate about at a young age you might be preventing them from being able to pursue it in the future seriously. In fact, some careers require training as children to be successful as adults and you're essentially blocking off that career path by not allowing your child to do what they love now. Later it can't "actually lead to something." For instance, to become a ballet dancer generally girls will begin training before the age of 10, and in some rare instances in their teen years. Training is vigorous and saving this training for later when "it can actually lead to something" is basically making it impossible for your child to succeed professionally if they begin as an adult.
When do you think orchestral musicians begin? Most often, not in their adult years.
When do you think those professional soccer players started playing? As children.
Your children only live once. They only have one opportunity to do what they love in life. And you might be taking away that opportunity.
I think you are absolutely right ... my husband has been bringing my son to attend four after school activities since he was in prep . These lessons are karate , piano , soccer and swimming .
Lately , What I can see from my 9 years old boy was that he did not see it as an exciting thing .. . Most of these activities are mostly being conducted in a fully control and structured environment. So , apart from keeping participating And responding to those instructions , cues and activities that were provided by the program instructor , I really don't see the fun faces that he has had when playing with the school boys in the school ..
Based on the responses from my boy, it makes me feel like it is may be time to cut down activities that he really not enjoying too much ...it is better for him to chilled out at home or enjoy some after school play dates with his best mates .
I really think sometimes , we as a parents are trying to predict , control and forcing too much things into our children 's life mainly because of our Own insecurity . children these days are facing tremendous pressure into filling up all these parents 's unfulfilled dreams and hopes ... which I think we ouselves were suppose to chase it and pursue ...
I hope all these views make sense .. and wish me luck in raising a healthy , confident and happy kid .