real life

Group Therapy: "I am a mum of two beautiful children. And I want plastic surgery."

Should I get a boob job?

I have been torturing myself with this question every day….

Before you answer this question I feel that I should explain myself.

I am a mum to 2 beautiful school aged children, a boy and a girl. The eldest of which has an Autism Spectrum Disorder.

Like most parents I am concerned with body image issues that are plaguing our children, especially our young girls.

As we get bombarded with these unrealistic images I use them to spark conversations with both my children about what a healthy body and an unhealthy body may look like, how to obtain and maintain a healthy body and how all of this differs from person to person.

I have always had small (‘A’ cup) breasts and it never bothered me. In fact for a while my little boobs and I made a comfortable living as a topless barmaid (long before I started my family), proving that it is not the size that counts!

So why do I want plastic surgery then?

After having children many things about my body changed, which I was prepared for. I have stretch marks, a jelly belly, gone up 2 dress sizes and have started growing hair in strange places (which after puberty I thought I would never have to experience again) and I am fine with all of this.

But the change to my breasts was dramatic, which again I was prepared for (or so I thought). They went from little well placed bowls of jelly, to what I can best describe as turned out pants pockets. They are now somewhere between an A and a B cup, which make finding a correct fitting Bra almost impossible. They are the only thing about my post baby body that makes me cringe when I look at myself naked.

While I have felt this way for a long time, the thought of having Breast Augmentation surgery is one I had previously dismissed as quickly as it came to me.

So what changed?

Why am I no longer dismissing the thought of surgery?

It all happened when I brought a pair of shoes. Yes, shoes. I’m not talking some six inch stilettos or killer boots.

Like most Mums, my wants and needs came last. I would scrutinise and justify every purchase I made for myself but wouldn’t think twice about buying something for the family or the house. After years of buying and wearing cheap shoes (usually around $20, sometimes less), I had developed problems with the tendons in my feet. It had gotten to the point where I was in agony every day and sometimes could barely walk.

If doing something for yourself means giving something more to your children, surely that’s a good thing.

After many trips to the doctor to receive painful cortisone injections, he finally convinced me to invest some money in myself. So I went to a specialty shoe store and found a nice pair of rather stylish (not at all the granny shoes I had imagined) orthotic shoes. I must admit the thought of paying $100 for 1 pair of shoes made me feel ill, even though I would have made the same purchase for my kids without hesitation. But after just a week of wearing them the improvement was amazing.

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My pain was not only decreasing daily, but I was happier, less stressed and therefore a much more pleasant person to be around. I didn’t snap at the kids as much and the thought of spending the day walking around a zoo with the kids or even just grocery shopping no longer filled me with dread.

That is when it dawned on me. Why should I put myself last? Aren’t my needs and wants just as important as the rest of the family? If we can afford a boat for the Hubby, then why can’t I have something to make me feel good?  If we can afford to send the kids to Karate lessons, then why can’t I do something to boost my self-esteem?

And that is what it comes down to… Me.

I do not want to do this for anyone else. Not society, not my Husband, nobody else but me.  While my husband believes the surgery is not necessary, he respects my right to make decisions about my body and wants me to be happy. And as for society, well, I really don’t give a damn what society thinks about my body. So like I said, just for me.

I don’t want big breasts. I just want breasts that I can look at for more than 10 seconds without wanting to cry. In fact I view it more like reconstructive surgery, rather than a boob job.

If it was my jelly belly or the extra weight that was bothering me, then nobody would think twice about me going to the gym. I already wax/tweeze any unwanted hair, just like every woman I know. So what is the big deal about me wanting to improve this one aspect of myself?

So it sounds like I have made up my mind, right? Wrong!

There is just one thing stopping me, only one hesitation.

It’s not the cost. I have already gotten quotes and crunched the numbers and it is affordable for us.

It’s not the risks. I have done my research. Like any surgery there are risks associated. I am aware of what could go wrong and also aware that with a qualified surgeon in a good hospital with quality implants, the risks are minimal.

It’s my kids.

Will they notice? How will I explain it to them? What will they think? Will I come across a hypocrite? Will it send the wrong message to my daughter?

This is my dilemma.

Do you have any advice for this reader?

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