We've all been through it...consoling a distressed child who was left off the invite list for the latest birthday party. We do our best to explain why it may have occurred:
* Their parents may have told them they weren't allowed to invite everyone;
* You don't have to invite them to your birthday party;
* It's not because they don't like you;
* Don't worry about it. You have friends who invite you. You can't be expected to be invited to every party.
However some schools have taken the dramatic step of banning the handing out of birthday invitations at school to try and protect the feelings of those children who aren't invited to some parties.
The schools in question say they are trying to instil kindness in their students through the move.
But are they taking away children's opportunity to become resilient?
This topic caused immediate debate between iVillage editor Alana House and writer Jo Abi, who completely disagree on this subject. Here's what they had to say, then tell us: What do you think?
I know life can be hard for children. I have vicious memories of my own childhood, of being teased at school, of being left out of activities and told I wasn't allowed to play with certain groups of so-called friends.
Watching my nine-year-old son Philip go through similar experiences is painful, but I feel these experiences are necessary to help him grow into a well-rounded person.
School isn't just for academic pursuits. School is also the perfect opportunity for children to learn resilience. By learning how to deal with feelings like embarrassment and distress, I am equipping him to deal with similar negative emotions later in life.
Harsh, I know, but as Doctor Phil always says, you can't protect your children from hardship but you can teach them to cope with it.
Just because schools ban the handing out of invitations during school hours doesn't mean they won't be left out of activities outside of school hours. Students will hand invitations out at other times.
Children will still need to learn to deal with the feeling of being left out of an exciting activity.
The first time Philip wasn't invited to a party he was shocked. In Kindergarten most of the mums excitedly invited the entire class, or at least all the boys for boy parties and all the girls for girl parties. However financial constraints and the stress of organising parties for large groups of children means this can't always be sustained.
"His mummy probably told him he wasn't allowed to invite many people, only close friends."
"But we are close friends."
"It would have been hard for him to decide. Don't worry about it. You will have to do the same thing when it comes to your birthday party. It's not easy but you need to try and understand and hopefully they'll understand too."