Music videos can be confusing these days. Almost frightening. If it isn’t a nonsensical abstract hipster concept that nobody understands, it’s a bunch of naked girls humping furniture. Or lots of people dressed as stuffed animals. Or emotions being represented through construction equipment.
It can be hard to get your head around.
But don’t panic! I’m here to help.
The latest perplexing music video to grace our screens is Shakira and Rihanna’s Can’t Remember to Forget You, and I’m going to take your hand and walk you through it, step by step. I think you’ll find once I break down the action and peel back the artistic layers behind the commplex narrative, you’ll be much more comfortable with the whole concept of the clip.
Just stick with me; we can get through this together.
Watch it here, and follow my second by second breakdown below.
00:00: We open on some cliffs by the ocean. Oh that’s nice.
00:04: Oh ok. Shakira is doing some ‘sexy-leaning’ against a wall. Oh, and Rihanna’s there doing some sexy-leaning against a different wall. Is sexy-leaning a thing now? Should I be doing more sexy-leaning? Is this why I don’t have a boyfriend?
00:10: Shakira is minus pants, singing on a bed. Lots of sexy crawling/rolling around, because that’s what all ladies do when in bed alone. The bed is in between two staircases just because. She keeps using her hands to pull her mesh top in towards her vagina for some reason. Maybe she forgot to wear undies?
00:34: And we’ve cut to a different bed. Except this time Shakira is wearing… Swimmers? Not sure – but still no pants.
00:37: Now she’s just doing some more rolling around on this new bed.
00:42: Woah ok. Now she’s topless in a pool.
00:43: Back to sexy-leaning on the wall.
00:44: Fun splashing in the topless pool.
00:45: Sexy rolling on Bed Number 2
0:47: Sexy jumping on Bed Number 1
0:48 – 1:03: Topless pool, sexy wall, Bed Number 1, Bed Number 2. Repeat.
1:04: Rihanna has stopped sexy-leaning on her wall and started sexy walking down a hallway. Lots of moving her hair around with her hands.
1:05 – 1:17: Shakira: sexy wall, topless pool, Bed Number 2, topless pool, Bed Number 2, sexy wall.
1:18: More Rihanna sexy walking down the sexy hallway. Also sans pants.
1:29: Wow. Um, ok. Both girls are now on Bed Number 2. Rihanna is putting her sexy head in Shakira’s lap and Shakira is stroking her hair and smoking a cigar. Because SEXY.