news

Avocados don't have seeds any more because they're so damn dangerous.

It’s happened. The obsession with avo on toast has gone too far, and now people are getting hurt.

Apparently so many people are removing parts of their hand along with the seed, that UK retail giant Marks and Spencer has been forced to intervene with a pit-free version of the fruit.

According to The Guardian, the numpty-proof product is called a “cocktail avocado” because in addition to being seedless, it’s only “5cm-8cm in length and has a smooth, edible skin, meaning it can be sliced or eaten whole.”

Sadly it’s only available to Brits during December – and in limited supply – which is expected to have customers eating out of M&S’s heavily scarred hands.

2016 shall forever be known as ‘The Year of the Avocado Toast’. Post continues below.

Before you cry “grocery nanny state”, allow us to remind you why we can no longer be trusted.

Earlier this year the prevalence of avocado-related emergency department admissions forced the British Association of Plastic, Reconstructive and Aesthetic Surgeons (BAPRAS) to issue a warning. Across the UK, doctors were reporting cases of flesh stabbed, nerves damaged and tendons severed in the process of a seed removal – a phenomenon the organisation referred to as “avocado hand”.

Our neighbours across the ditch (or ‘dutch’) haven’t fared much better. According to figures from New Zealand’s Accident Compensation Corporation reported by RNZ, 162 people made claims for avo-related injuries in 2015/16, costing taxpayers more than $64,000.

It should be noted that, intelligence appears to have no bearing on the condition, as even actress Meryl Streep succumbed in 2012. And she’s been called “a genius” on at least 12 occasions.

Not even Meryl is immune to an avo-related slip 'n' slice. Image: Getty.
ADVERTISEMENT

There aren't yet figures available for the incidence of avocado hand in Australia, but anecdotal evidence is damning.

Plastic and reconstructive hand surgeon Dr Jill Tomlinson, for example, has reported seeing multiple patients suffering as a result of the phenomenon.

"Avocados are delicious; I eat them regularly. But I also regularly perform surgery on people who have sustained an 'avocado injury' - when they accidentally plunge a sharp knife into their hand," she wrote via the Melbourne Hand Surgery wesbite.

"Sometimes no significant structures are injured, but sometimes the knife cuts a nerve, an artery and/or a tendon."

As seedless avocados are not yet available in Australia, Dr Tomlinson advises we use a spoon instead.