by TRACEY COX
Sex Question: “My boyfriend wants me to masturbate in front of him. I’m quite a shy person really and I’ve never done anything like this before. I’m not even keen on having sex in anything more than dim light!
He wants me to touch myself while he watches because he says it ‘turns him on’ but I don’t know how to do it without feeling embarrassed. Sure, I masturbate now and then. I’m not ashamed to admit it. But I’ve never done it before with an audience. Gah! Help me, Tracey. For the love of God.”
Tracey says: This is one of those things that you think is going to make you die with embarrassment, but if you do it in the right mood (aka two wines in and feeling horny), it can not only unleash a naughty, exhibitionist side of you (always handy in bed) but unlock the door between ‘OK but slightly awkward/tense sex’ and ‘Relaxed, fun, really good sex’. I know which door I’d rather be on the side of!
Just as you build confidence outside the bedroom if you’re shy, by pushing yourself a teeny bit out of your comfort zone each day (remember how hard it was to go to a party when you were a shy teen?), you should do the same with sex.
Here’s some tips on how to make it easier.