“I think my child’s school is trying to break me.”

I can picture it perfectly. The office ladies at my children’s school laughing over their latest mischief which amuses them and drives parents insane. It’s either that they are deliberately messing with me, they are evil, or they are completely incompetent.

I can’t decide which one is worse.

It was a bright and sunny day. The birds were singing and I was having one of those days when I felt totally up myself over the stellar job I was doing as a mother. I had packed the kids school bags the night before, half packed their lunches and even figured out what to make for breakfast.

#smug

I woke up early the next day and woke them up, not letting their complaining and grumbling get to me as I did my best to get them to use the toilet, brush their teeth and get dressed. I sounded a bit like a deranged cheerleader and I felt like one too. Whatever it takes, right?

school children mixed grade
Which uniform. WHICH UNIFORM!?! Image via iStock.

My little darlings were dressed and feeding as I finished up a few tasks. I was drinking coffee with one hand, ironing with the other, feeding the cat with one leg and putting my mobile phone on charge with my other foot, when 'it' happened.

"Mum, my friend just texted me. We need to be in sports uniform today for cricket clinic."

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Fuck me.

I immediately started hyperventilating. We were meant to be leaving for school in three freaking minutes and I had to go to work that day. Had I missed an email? A text message? A phone call? A bloody notice in the bloody newsletter?

"What," I gasped, grabbing my phone and texting two friends to confirm my worst fears.

"Yep, sports uniform today," one answered quickly. "Love the notice," they added.

It was then that I turned around in several circles. I mean I physically turned around in several circles. My brain melted down and I had NO IDEA what to do.

Every parent knows that getting your child ready for school is only possible when you get them out of freaking bed. Post continues after video...

Video via Dave Mcgrath

The following thoughts blinked through my brain:

I'll change them quickly.

I'll pack their sports uniforms in their bags.

I'll check they aren't wet.

I'll drop them off later.

They can do cricket in their full school uniform. They won't be the only ones.

I'll wake my soundly sleeping husband up and make him deal with it.

I'll ring them later and yell at them, and I mean YELL.

I started crying instead and burst into the bedroom shrieking for my husband to HELP ME. He was startled and incredibly tired due to the night shift he'd worked the evening before. Then I left the house, got in my car, and drove to work.

I was too mad to ring the school until the afternoon and I also wanted to check that I hadn't missed a note. I found out that they'd just told it to the kids and expected them to remember to tell me, which is a bit hard considering the fact that my oldest and most responsible child had been home that day vomiting into a salad bowl.

"Why would you do this," I demanded. "Where's the communication? I feel like you guys are messing with us. Are you? Are you messing with us? We're busy. We're working. You RUINED my ENTIRE DAY."

Mum dressed us in the correct uniform today. Yay! Image via iStock.

She stayed calm and spoke to me gently, clearly aware that I was in the midst of a nervous breakdown that was all their fault, explaining that yes it was late notice but not a problem if they weren't in sports uniform. They could just do cricket in their full and incredibly uncomfortable winter uniform. No, it hadn't been in the newsletter, nor had they sent an email or a text message.his isn't the first time they've done something like this. The problem with my children's school is that they still live in the dark ages and think most of the mums don't work or work very little. Um, frigging news flash. The mums on the P & C don't reflect the majority of the school population. We are working, and working very hard.

Even if most of us were stay at home mums and only a few worked, why not be organised enough to cater to those working mums. They are the ones whose lives are ruined by the school's disorganisation. They stay at home mums don't care.

THEY CAN JUST DROP OFF THEIR CHILDREN'S SPORTS UNIFORMS ON THEIR WAY TO TUCKSHOP DUTY WHICH I'VE NEVER GOTTEN TO DO BECAUSE I AM AT WORK!

It's been a few days now and I plan never to come face-to-face with the office ladies again.

What is the worst thing your children's school has ever done to you?

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