It has come to my attention that I am a chronic over-thanker (not to be confused with an over-thinker, of which I am one as well, I’m just really down with the ‘over’s’ it seems).
I’m generally a friendly person. I give good chat. Years of honing my ability to yabber on has meant that there isn’t a barista, deli owner or, bizarrely, a librarian (I seem to spend an inordinate amount of time in libraries) who I can’t strike up some sort of conversation with.
I reckon motherhood also helped hone this skill. Never has one sought conversation so much as straight after birth. I truly believe that the driving force that got me out of my Bonds breastfeeding singlet and maternity PJ pants was the desire to engage with another adult human for 10 or so minutes while I ordered my latte. Yes, the caffeine was akin to downing an ice-cold bottle of water after you’ve been forced to chase a wayward dog through the front yards of three consecutive houses, but it was the chat that kept me going back for more.
Which leads me to this habit I seem to have gotten into of over-thanking. I’m not talking about genuine “thank you”s, say, the type that might be offered when a kind stranger somehow manages to secure the leash of aforementioned runaway dog and remains upright long enough to relinquish it into your custody, without judgment of your dog ownership skills.
I’m not even talking about the standard, expected “thank you” that you might deliver after being handed a salad/your fly-buys card/the remote control when ‘Duck Dynasty’ comes on and you feel the violent need to change the channel. I’m talking about the thank you that seems to have been plucked from thin air when there is no actual need for it to be uttered.
I realized that I was employing this technique during a pathology appointment the other morning. After thanking the phlebotomist (great title) for accepting my referral and thanking the man in the waiting room for agreeing to let me go first, I then proceeded to continue the thanks all the way through the blood drawing session. Thanks were heaped on for showing me to the seat, for fastening the tourniquet around my upper arm and in final, undeniable proof of my issue, when the actual needle was inserted into my arm and attached to the plastic tubing used to collect the sample.
Top Comments
Saying thank you is a good thing and goes a long way. In general, it is not said enough and we should be doing more of it. As long as it's genuine, it is not a problem. People who overdo it however, may be doing it out of habit and it may appear fake/insincere. The same applies for the word sorry. Just like anything, saying a word/phrase too much can be annoying and diminishes the effect.
I came to this realisation when I lived in the US. They have a habit of saying "you're welcome" each time someone says thank you. There was a very comical scene in a restaurant where I was thanking the waiter for everything - the menus, water, topping up our drinks, bringing our meals etc - and each time I got a "you're welcome". At times the thank you's were in quick succession. My husband got the giggles and I suddenly realised how often I said it!
Ha, after two years of hearing it we now say, "Yrrr Wul-come" everytime one of us says it at the dinner table. Complete with pitch inflections.
We used to see how many we could get out of the waiter in one sitting...haha. Drove me bonkers but was kinda funny at the same time!
I noticed that when I was there too, I think my waiter got sick of me saying it because after awhile he didn't respond!