The father of Tasmanian mother Sarah Paino says today will be “full of emotion” as family deal with the one-year anniversary of Sarah’s death, while also celebrating the first birthday of her son.
Ms Paino, 24, died when a 15-year-old driving a stolen four-wheel drive ploughed into her car in the Hobart CBD on the night of January 22.
She was 32 weeks pregnant at the time and doctors were able to save her unborn baby boy, Caleb.
Her two-year-old son Jordan, who was in the back seat of the car, survived the crash unharmed.
Ms Paino’s father Michael described the past year as “a roller coaster”.
“A lot of lows but not many highs,” he said.
“People see you on the surface and everyone says you’re holding up OK. But it’s been behind closed doors when the pain really kicks in.”
Mr Paino said the anniversary would bring mixed emotions.
“Caleb doesn’t know any different, this is his first birthday without mum — that is one of many that he has got to live with,” he said.
“We are going through that grieving process of trying to get the boys to understand that mum is in heaven.
“And yes, we will celebrate for Caleb, but behind closed doors we are full of sadness and absolutely devastated.”
Ms Paino’s friend Seirna Stocks said it was important to celebrate Caleb’s life, while also remembering Sarah.
“I guess the main aim is just to stay happy for Caleb — it is his first birthday and yes, we lost Sarah, but he is still here — so let’s show him a little bit of happiness for his birthday,” she said.
Mr Paino said his two grandsons, Jordan and Caleb, were “thriving”.
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Well Iggy, I happened to work in a youth program for 4 years, in Tasmania. This program was specifically for the most difficult children who were too unruly for foster care, and had often been in youth detention. Almost always they had suffered physical and/or sexual abuse at home too.
This program was VERY well run with trained carers, therapists and so on, with great housing and programs for the kids. The Government spent around $300,000 per kid to improve outcomes, yet they were only successful to a degree.
These kids were given many many chances, whether it be the state care system, youth justice or other services. In my professional experience, virtually all the damage was done at home thanks to parents who have little ability and less desire to do the right thing. Please don't say the system doesn't give them a chance, it offers them masses - far more and at a far greater cost than most would imagine.
It was really heartening to read his statements about the boy who was driving. A lot of kids in Tassie are given zero chances; they're born into multi-generational trauma, in and out of foster car where they're alternately abused by their parents and (unfortunately) sometimes abused by their carers. When you're born into hopelessness, it's only the very exceptional that make it out.
If this case made anything clear it's that Tasmania are overwhelmingly failing their youth.