This is the only acceptable way to brag about your run

Image via Claire Wyckoff (Twitter)

If there’s one thing runners love more than telling people how much they love running, it’s letting everyone know just how far they can run.

Take a look at your Facebook feed on a weekend morning – you’ll find a stream of GPS maps covered in squiggly red lines showing you exactly how much ground your fitness freak mates just covered.

Running fiends, there is a way to humblebrag without losing your friends: you just need to get creative with your running app routes. And when we say creative, we mean pick a track that resembles a penis when viewed from above. Or maybe a Space Invader. How could your followers possibly be annoyed if your progress maps resembled any of these masterpieces?


This is the brilliant approach taken by San Francisco-based copywriter Claire Wyckoff, who ‘draws’ large-scale phalluses and other amusing designs using her feet and her Nike+ app. We’re not exactly sure what her process is, but we’re guessing Claire either maps out her runs before she starts, or tailors the route as she goes while keeping an eye on her GPS tracker.

Either way, the end result is like a NSFW version of Art Attack. Penises seem to be Claire’s specialty – her attention to anatomical detail is masterful – but she’s also drawn Space Invaders, Ghost Busters characters, a stripper on a pole, and a middle finger salute. One thing is for sure – her efforts prove there’s an art to running.

Keep an eye on Claire’s artistic (and, well, running) progress by following her Running Drawing tumblr here.

As for the rest of you –  we can’t really blame you for wanting to share your #progress – anyone who willingly bounces out of bed on a Saturday morning (well, any morning) to slog it out for 10km deserves a high five. But those maps are getting ridiculous. We get it: you go running, you run far, and the rest of us are sedentary slobs. So next time, take a screenshot out of Claire’s app, and make your run fun for the rest of us.

Do you use Nike + Running or any other fitness apps?

00:00 / ???