reality tv

Mamamia recaps the 4 most intense moments from the premiere of Roxy Jacenko's new TV show.

 

If anyone’s life was made for a TV show, it’s Roxy Jacenko.

The famed PR guru, talent manager, author, influencer, wife and mum-of-two has long documented her life online, but not even an overflowing Instagram page could prepare the world for the premiere episode of I Am…Roxy.

From the renovation of her opulent new home to breaking in a new junior publicist and comparing a model’s breasts to raisins, here are the four most intense moments from Roxy’s new show that are sure to live on in infamy.

Listen to Roxy Jacenko give Mamamia’s daily entertainment podcast The Spill an exclusive look into her new reality TV show below.

When Roxy took personal offence to a rogue nose hair protruding from her husband Oliver Curtis’ nose.

The first episode of I Am…Roxy kicked off with a plucky aspirational vibe. A perfectly coiffed Roxy declares to the camera, “There is no reason you cannot succeed without the actual book smarts” while an authoritative voice-over intones, “Roxy Jacenko has always lived the high life, but along the way, there has always been a scandal”. In the background, a series of clips of Roxy living this high life play out in the kind of rapid success that wouldn’t be out of place in a rom-com movie montage.

Then shit gets real.

As Roxy and her husband Oliver are driving along in the car, she glimpses a long hair protruding from her beloved’s nose. At first, Roxy tries to play the whole thing cool by just saying casually but through clenched teeth, “You’ve got a hair in your nose and you really need to attend to it”.

Now, this bit was hard to see this on-screen, but I can only imagine that somehow this rogue nose hair begins to taunt and smack talk Roxy in such a way that forces her to lose her cool, because she then takes the matter into her own hands and yanks it out of Oliver’s nose herself.

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With her nemesis vanquished and Oliver rubbing his still stinging nose, the couple continues their drive to work together.

roxy jacenko show
“You’ve got a hair in your nose and you really need to attend to it." Image: Channel 10.

The million-dollar home renovation, featuring the make-up lights of Roxy's nightmares.

A generous chunk of this episode is dedicated to the trials and tribulations of Roxy and Oliver renovating their opulent new home where they plan to live the with their children Pixie and Hunter and the extra emotional baggage the overhaul has added to their marriage.

The family of four arrive at the still-under-construction home for a walkthrough and when Oliver urged Roxy to take a look at her new make-up room, you know shit is about to get real. As the family walks through the home Roxy casually admits to the camera that she wants to "murder Ollie at the moment” because of how long the house is taking, which is clever foreshadowing for what’s about to happen.

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Ominous music begins to play in the background and the whole thing plays out like a scene from a horror movie where the audience feels compelled to scream out "don't go in there!"

But alas, dear reader, she did go in there and the whole thing played out like the worst case of Shakespearean drama.

The lights, you see, are far too big.

“There’s a big difference between light bulbs and an orb”, Roxy screams at Oliver (which is a fair and just point) and the couple continue to battle it out over the lights for the remainder of the episode.

roxy jacenko show
Orb gate 2019. Image: Channel 10.
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The Sweaty Betty business meeting that nearly ended in bloodshed.

The next scene in the series takes us to Roxy's weekly team meeting where her staff can "submit new weekly ideas to their leader".

It sounds like all fun and games until Roxy tells the camera that she let go three staff just before Christmas because they were not performing, saying she’s not "in business to make friends".

It's Junior Publicist Marlii's first day on the job and her maiden voyage into full-time PR work is not exactly smooth sailing. Roxy sends her scurrying out of the room to fetch the actual item she's pitching ideas for (magnetic lashes) saying “I don’t think you can ever brainstorm something without the product, a lesson for you, because you have to touch and feel it to be creative. I’m going to have to work on you."

It's pretty smart advice and her team continue to nod solemnly.

Marlii's idea for a pop-up bar at the races to promote the eyelashes dies a quick and brutal death as the meeting ends, but it's not all doom and gloom as Marlii bravely assures the camera she will live to fight another day.

Let's talk about hamburger photoshoots and "sultana tits".

Roxy is overseeing a photoshoot for Burger Day and declares “it’s fabulous” while surveying the model who is all done up in movie star glam hair and makeup while clutching a burger. But just when you think all is safe she turns to the photographer and says casually “Now, can you do me a favour? She needs boobs."

“Can we create an optical illusion? There’s not much to take," she continues pointing to the photo as the model watches on. “I mean, I had that problem but then I fixed it. I was known as ‘sultana tits’ at school so I know how she feels."

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roxy jacenko show
“I mean, I had that problem but then I fixed it. I was known as ‘sultana tits’ at school so I know how she feels." Image: Channel 10.

Let's all hope that "sultana-tits" is one day added to the dictionary because I now feel the need to use it in my everyday conversation.

I Am...Roxy is part of Ten's pilot week lineup, so we'll have to wait and see if it's picked up for a full season.

If you're interested in Roxy’s Brand Bootcamp, the ultimate online course to help you build a powerful brand, you can find out more here.