Somebody actually wrote '5 reasons to date a girl with an eating disorder'.

Hey there Mister. Are you looking for a skinny, white, attractive, rich lady to fall in love with?

Well! Have we got a treat for you.

A group of blokes over at the Return of Kings website have discovered a single indicator in the female species, which ensures that the lady you’re chasing meets all the aforementioned requirements.

Check the presence of this one simple thing and you can near-perfectly predict the hotness, caucasian-ness, slimness and wealth of any woman.

But what is this magical indicator, you ask? An eating disorder.

Have a read of this:

“…the presence of one of the classic eating disorders is a reliable predictor of various socio-economic, cultural, and personality traits in a young woman–features that, in the end, are desirable to today’s American man. In a world where the “retail price” on the typical Western woman continues to skyrocket—while their quality continues its precipitous decline—there are some real gems to be found in the bargain bin.”

Please excuse us while we retire to the bathroom to slap ourselves silly. You see, we attempted to write this whole post in sarcasm font but the subject matter is just too damn foul. And so, it’s time to lose the irony and play this one straight.

This is the ACTUAL PICTURE that went with the awful post.

Let’s hold hands shall we? This one isn’t going to be fun…

The increasingly popular Return of Kings is a website for American fuckwits men.To be more specific, it’s a website for straight American men.

According to their mission statement, their audience are blokes who “believe men should be masculine and women should be feminine”.

They also have a policy of not allowing women or homosexual men to comment. So there’s that.

This ‘straight men issues only’ policy, apparently gives them the right to publish articles encouraging fat shaming, slut shaming, and this week’s newest gem: 5 reasons to date a girl with an eating disorder.

A post that is EXACTLY as horrible as it sounds. If you want to, you can read the post here (but we really suggest you don’t give them the privilege of a mouse click).


Now, there’s a lot of really foul stuff on the internet. We know this.

Part of Mamamia’s job is to decide what we do and don’t report on and sometimes that can be a very hard call to make. But when things this off are getting significant (and sadly, mostly positive) traction online, then something has to be said.

Are the guys over at Return of Kings just baiting us? Are they reveling in the outraged feminist reaction? Probably.

But that doesn’t mean we should leave their sewer-crawling idiocy unchallenged.

The Return of Kings break down the excellent reasons for dating a chick with a serious mental health condition (that can have serious repercussions for her physical health too) as follows:

Her struggles with self esteem will keep her skinny. Forever.

She doesn’t cost much to take out for dinner. Cos’ she won’t eat much – geddit?

Her vulnerability will bring out the best in you (the bloke). Weak Jane maketh Strong Tarzan more MANLY.

Poor people don’t get eating disorders. So she will be cashed up and not take all your moola.

Apparently it’s a ‘well known fact’ that crazy girls are better in bed.

Hold it… Hold it… Okay. Unleash:

Do we really need to say anything more to these guys other than: You are the worst and we hope you find yourselves trapped naked in a pool of faeces one day?


But we will say this – anybody who reads an article titled ‘five reasons to date a girl with an eating disorder’ and likes it, is a sad, pathetic individual. And anybody who writes an article titled ‘five reasons to date a girl with an eating disorder’ is an epically sad and pathetic individual.


Now continue writing awful crap on your sad website that does nothing but prove to the world that you are the absolute worst.