Every relationship that I’ve had has taught me lessons: some that I refuse to acknowledge, some that I want to run away from and some that have helped me define myself and provide me with positive direction.
It’s not just the major relationships, the great loves – it’s also my friendships and my familial relationships that I’ve learned from. Even my work relationships. For instance in my last job I had, I had an er, interesting relationship with my boss and while I think that it was ultimately not healthy to work with someone who made me doubt myself ALL THE TIME it certainly helped me come into this job with more self awareness and better boundaries. In fact when I think about the last job it seems like a bit of a nightmare Unlike Guy Ritchie who felt his last major relationship (although it was with his wife not a boss) was like living in a soap opera.
Ritchie was recently interviewed by Details magazine. I’m guessing the interview was part of the publicity trail for the new Sherlock Holmes movie he is directing, but it’s his reflection on his marriage to Madonna that made me take stock
DETAILS: You married Madonna when you were still a fledgling director and she was the most famous woman in the world. What was that adjustment like?
Guy Ritchie: I don’t know. By the way, I enjoyed my first marriage. It’s definitely not something I regret. The experience was ultimately very positive. I love the kids that came out of it, and I could see no other route to take. But you move on, don’t you? You’re right, I stepped into a soap opera, and I lived in it for quite a long period of my life. I’ll probably be more eloquent on it 10 years from now.DETAILS: What did you learn from that marriage?
Guy Ritchie: When you end up with a lot of the things you set out to chase and find that you’ve stumbled into all sorts of hollow victories, then you become deeply philosophical. I’m quite happy that that experience was accelerated for me. I’m glad I made money, in other words. And I’m glad I got married.
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Don't expect your partner to make you happy and fulfill every need. It's impossible. Don't think an arsehole will change. Don't think men will change after a significant milestone they won't. Accept your partner noone is perfect least of all yourself. Be supportive even when you are not relaly that interested in the work event, sport etc. Think of the good times and the love it will help you through the shit times. Everyone goes through hard times or has bad days give the person a break ok. It's ok to disagree don't take it as a personal attack. Try to be a best friend to your partner. Without trust there is nothing. Without friendship there is nothing. If you don't get flowers every fkg day, who cares if he's there and pulls through for you when it counts. Never marry someone until you have gone through an issue together or a tough situation you really see what someone will be like through the seriously shit times in your life (I was lucky to marry a good one). Don't let the romantic claptrap films make you believe that this is what love should look like. Know your worth and what you deserve from a partner. I could go on and I haven't even had a coffee yet!
If someone tells you they don't love you believe them. If someone says they don't want kids or to get married believe them. Don't split with your partner and continue to have sex that shit will seriously mess you up. Why did I have Liz Lemon in my head "that's a dealbreaker ladies!" gotta love TF.
No regrets learn from it.
Just want to add this is a mix of past and current relationship! Not just some poor old sucker ex that would be warped. A few things friends have
learnt too. Oh this is for one of my friends, "don't anaylse and dissect your current relationship with your friends for 3 hours and then ask and how are you going?!" and don't discuss your relationship in so much detail I am not your psychologist! Yes I did say that to her...ugh!
No matter who ( partner, friend, family, yourself) will let you down at least once. It's what they or you do about it to make it up and learn from it.
Love them, but love yourself a little bit more.