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It’s a webpage where men tell stories of why they rape. And researchers are now using it for a new study.

 

Warning: The content in this post might be distressing for some readers. 

Reddit is a cesspool of misogyny and racism, peopled predominantly by “redditors” with a very loose grasp on morality. It’s where internet trolls go to be among their people.

And that’s why it’s come as a surprise to many that a Reddit thread is now being used for a research on violence against women.

The original poster asked other redditors: “Reddit’s had a few threads about sexual assault victims, but are there any redditors from the other side of the story? What were your motivations? Do you regret it?”

For those who are unfamiliar, Reddit is a social news site, where anyone can sign up with any username they like and start forums.

It’s that anonymity that gives the rape thread its value: with no chance of their real identities being discovered and speaking in a forum of like-minded people, rapists and would-be rapists let their guards down.

A study published in the Psychology of Violence academic journal used the thread as the basis for an article titled Justifying Sexual Assault: Anonymous Perpetrators Speak Out Online.

 

 

istock rape
The Redditors were extremely candid in their descriptions of sexual assault of women. Image via iStock.
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The Georgia State University researchers saw the thread as a unique opportunity to view rape through “the interpretive lens perpetrators use to justify their actions.”

They whittled the tens of thousands of responses down to 68 first-hand accounts of rape and found many commonalities.

Researchers grouped the responses into various themes: victim blaming, hostile sexism, biological essentialism (“I was so horny; she was teasing me; I couldn’t help it”), objectification, and sociosexuality (a personality trait of being willing to engage in sex with someone you have no emotional feeling for).

At the time of the “ask-a-rapist” thread’s genesis in 2012, many were horrified that a site frequented by rape apologists and men’s rights activists was airing their views on rape.

“The thought that my rapist is PROBABLY a redditor and could very well be getting patted on the back RIGHT NOW by HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE for relating how rough raping me was for him is making me literally nauseous,” one commenter wrote.

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Many of the Reddit posters don’t think of themselves as rapists. Most knew well the women they raped; they were friends, girlfriends, acquaintances, wives.

For almost all of them, the feelings of the woman they molested were the very last thing they thought about.

Consent is rarely mentioned.

However, many of the men express regret and remorse for the assault, or sometimes complete confusion about a woman’s reaction after the fact.

Take this example of a man who pressured his girlfriend into having sex with him until she stopped resisting. He found her crying alone afterwards and was surprised.

“It was as much my responsibility to ensure good communication as it was hers. … She (albeit nonverbally) implicitly consented to something she felt she had no choice but to consent to. She was wrong and she did have a choice, but if she didn’t realize that in the moment then what difference does it make?”

Or this one, who anally rapes his wife once a year.

“She doesn’t mention it after, ever, even if I joke that I enjoyed raping her. I like the experience so I repeat it every year… but I very much love her, just doesn’t seem like the inner emotions match what I physically want.”

Many use their physical strength and seem to think sex with a woman is their right.

“I was a freshman and hooking up with this girl who got naked in bed with me, then said no. I think she just wanted to do oral. I was extremely horny and already close to doing it, so I ignored her and did it. She realized what was happening and tried to clamp her legs shut, but it was too late and I was much stronger than her.”

Victim-blaming is frequent:

“Most girls don’t really understand how horny guys are, how much stronger guys are, how guys will rationalize what they do. I see feminists and women on the Internet saying that no means no and women should be able to get as drunk as they want and not be sexually assaulted, and I couldn’t agree me [sic]. But the reality of the situation is that women have to be careful because guys are one way when they’re hanging out and another way when they’re horny or worse drunk and horny. That doesn’t make what happened okay, but it is what it is.”

They’re not creepy criminals lurking in the night awaiting prey, they’re men and boys we know: colleagues; uni peers; schoolmates; friends; married men. And listening to their attitudes and stories of rape is a valuable tool in understanding why it happens.

If nothing else, the thread and subsequent research shows something is going seriously wrong in sex education of young people.

The research will be used to make recommendations on policy in the US and to inform clinical intervention with rapists “to decrease cognitive distortions of blame.”