The 7 things only the mothers of boys will understand.

I am not sure there is much in the world that beats watching the fierce love of brothers. That lump-in-your-throat feeling you get from watching them interact.

Best friends one moment. Mortal enemies the next. As a mum

If you have little boys who have melted your heart with their tender mix of childish sweetness and blossoming-maleness then you will relate to these 7 things:

1. Crossing swords.

You get it huh? If you have boys you know EXACTLY what I mean, for those of you who are a bit baffled right now think of the carnage of 2 or 3 boys doing a simultaneous wee.

2. Rumbling is not fighting.

It is playing and there is not an unacceptable time of day to do it, and there isn’t often a time it doesn’t end in tears. But no matter they will go straight back for more immediately. For brothers there is no place where rumbling is prohibited. Back seats of cars, trampolines, any couch ever, carpet, concrete you name it. No hard surface can stop this pursuit.

3. There can never be too much lasagne.

Enough said.

4. Spitting in your food.

It is acceptable to spit in your own food to mark it as your territory, you just have to get in quick before one of your brothers spits in it first. In acts of war it is, of course, acceptable to spit in your brother’s meal and then tell him when dinner is finished. (Make sure Mum has left the room.) Shooting peas across the table at each other is also not “playing with food” it is simply target practice, Mum. 

5. Farts are funny.

It is acceptable to spit in your own food to mark it as your territory, you just have to get in quick before one of your brothers spits in it first. In acts of war it is, of course, acceptable to spit in your brother’s meal and then tell him when dinner is finished. (Make sure Mum has left the room.) Shooting peas across the table at each other is also not “playing with food” it is simply target practice, Mum.

There is simply not anything funnier in the world than farting on your brother’s head. Except maybe doing it to your Dad. In fact there isn’t much funnier than farting full stop. The louder the better (of course) and the greatest, most hysterical thing you could possibly do, is if you can manage to fart AND talk about poo – no comedic genius could beat this combination.

6. Everything must be the same.

Everything. Clothes, toys, beds, food intake and presents – especially presents.

Until the eldest reaches the age of eight. Then NOTHING must be the same as his little brother’s.

7. There is simply nothing that is not a competition.

From running the fastest, to climbing the highest tree, to building the better fort to finding the longest ‘sword’ in the park. Nothing can be excluded from this competition.

But the biggest fiercest most potent competition is who loves Mum the most. There is nothing that will waiver them in their devotion, their affection, their pure total unrelenting determined love for their mothers.

This post was originally published on iVillage.com.au, and is republished here with full permission. 

If you have boys, what else will only mothers of brothers understand?