The 33 questions to always ask during a cricket game.

 The other day (maybe, it was, um, Boxing Day), there was some kind of cricket match.

That’s about all the knowledge I have on it. That it happened.

What I can tell you, is that while it was happening, my boyfriend was watching intently. All day.

‘Hmmm!’ I thought. ‘I know! I’ll show an INTEREST! Because that’s what good couples do, right? Show INTEREST in stuff and not just steal the remote from each other  because one of us wants to watch Ellen.’ So I did. I showed an interest.

This is how it went down over the space of about an hour, at which point, for SOME UNKNOWN REASON, my boyfriend just let me change the channel.

So for all you non-cricket fans of all shapes and sizes, perhaps you will relate. And to all you cricket fans, guys and girls alike… I apologise.

33 annoying questions to ask during a cricket match.

1. What does ‘toofor’ mean?
2. Who’s winning?
3. Is that a good score?
4. How long does this game go for?
5. But what if the players need to pee?
6. Can I watch Ellen now?
7. Is ‘one-hand-one-bounce’ a real rule?
8. What about ‘tippy-go’?
9. Why does he keep rubbing the ball on his crotch?
10. I’m actually a pretty good bowler. Well, probably. Don’t you reckon, babe?
11. Do the bowlers bat too?
12. Do the batters bowl?
13. Do any of them bat for both teams? HAHAHA
14. Wait, are there TWO batsmen playing?
15. Why?

     

16. Ooh! What just happened?
17. Why is everyone cheering?
18. Why is nothing happening now?
19. Who’s that?
20. Where is Shane Warne?
21. Is it over?
22. But why did they just say ‘over’?
23. Hang on, there are HOW MANY more turns?
24. Who came up with those numbers?
25. Why are they re-playing it in slow-mo?
26. And again?
27. And again?
28. Why is that guy standing all the way over there?
29. Do you reckon he’s bored?
30. Do your reckon the wicketkeeper gets sore legs?
31. Why doesn’t he just sit down?
32. Hey babe why are you groaning?
33. AM I ANNOYING YOU?

Apparently there is another… um, round?…. starting in a day or two. No wait, it’s called a ‘Test’. Another ‘Test’.

See? I’m learning already. Bring it on.

Have you ever asked one or more of these questions during a cricket match?