real life

Public service announcement: Do not marry this man.

Now friends, we’ve all dreamed of ending up with a man who knows the importance of a gold-plaited toilet, haven’t we? Of course. Well the day has finally come. Dream. No. More.

We’d like to introduce you to: Don Milisav Juan Gonzales Brzi, a 39-year-old Serbian man who’s looking for love.

And in order to find aforementioned love, Don has created an advertisement. He’s showing you what’s he’s got to offer and we think we can safely say that it’s quite a bit. Here are some of the best home-decor photos we’ve ever seen in the form of Don’s love nest/online dating profile:

Like what you see? Lucky for you, Don is looking for a lady to share it all with. He writes:

“To all unmarried ones who would like to spend their life by my side and within all the beauties of my home. Please look below at all the magic of my home that I have decorated with taste, perhaps just for you.”

If that sounds like an appealing offer, and you would like to join Don in his literal gold plated mansion and do your poops in a gold toilet, you must meet some strict requitements. Don wants his lady love to be:

  • Single and ready to mingle
  • 16 to 20 years of age
  • Any takers? Or anyone with a teenage daughter they’d like to offer up? You sure?