Firstly mum, what an amazing, life changing job you are doing! I get it as we have two brothers living with us in long term foster care who have similar histories and issues to your boys and it’s bloody hard! You can only do so much and hope for the best. Our boys are still young - 6 and 7, but I see similar patterns to yours with our youngest. He can’t control his emotions and he hurts us, himself and his brother but he is also adorable, kind and loving! It’s so hard!! He’s only small and easy to fend off at the moment, but I fear we will be in your situation later. I feel for you! I don’t have the answers, but only the support. I understand and I think you are great 😀