User Comments

Michelle January 26, 2018

I’m so sorry this happened to you. Three things kind of jump out at me in what you’ve written.
1. You talk a lot about how you didn’t say no. Like you have some fault. This is an unfortunate product of the way consent is educated about. More and more “affirmative consent” is now being taught... that the pursuer should check in with the other person about how they are feeling. The idea that the person being raped should say “no” or they’re giving messages they wanted it is victim blaming and indicitative of rape culture. You were in shock. The person raped you. They didn’t seek consent. You said you’d like to cuddle.
2. You said you’re perplexed that he texted to check in on you and that’s the most confusing thing. I would suggest he did that to protect himself, so that if you reported it there was some evidence that he thought it was consensual. I don’t imagine he expected you to get back in touch. In other words it was self protection.
3. You should report this if you can manage it. For yourself and for others - if he does this all the time he will continue to do it. Besides I’m pretty sure there are laws about stealthing but I could be wrong.

Whatever you decide to do, I hope you are surrounded by love. This person is relying on you feeling like you did something wrong (which you did not), but as you say it seems like he has done this routine many times before. You were raped, you did not consent, and I’m so sorry you are left with the aftereffects. Xxx