There seemed to be a lot of pressure on the writer to meet standards for parenting, either perceived or not, by society. 

I really get it. With a partner who worked away I was at home with three and seriously burning out. Although I didn’t have the feeling of wanting to leave, I did have the mindset of ‘is it always going to be like this’. It was like a desperation. Just sinking more into unhappiness. What the pivot point was when I was asked by my mum ‘if you are unhappy what are you doing about the situation?’ She explained that she sees how much parents theses days actually do for their children at their own detriment. The playing, the chores, the mental load. Small changes start to drive feelings of relief. Your son gets up early? Why don’t you make a ‘breakfast bowl’ for your kids so that when they get up they have a drink, easy breakfast and a book to read to let you sleep. Teach the children to share the load of the household, let go of the mental load that you shouldn’t have (can you control it, is it not your issue?). You can also Think of ways to feel more fulfilled in your role. I got into learning about parenting and the psychology around it. It changed me and gave me power. Power to see that I was in a position to make small changes that would greatly benefit  myself and my family greatly. 

Motherhood does change us, but our identity doesn’t really get lost but morphs into something new. We change all throughout our life and struggle with identity at different times. Leaving high school, going to university, starting a new job, even our relationships with our partners, they all change our identity or who we are as a person. Being a parent isn’t your only identity wether you work or not. It’s a stage of transformation that you undertake in your identity and instead of pushing away from it, steer into it, make it your own. 

There is so much to unpack in terms of modern parenting, mental health and I hope this writer has a good support system around her while she struggles with the pressures this modern way of life. Good luck to the writer and hope she finds some peace.