User Comments

mamamia-user-940475079 June 1, 2020

Unfortunately, this type of personality disorder never seek help or see there is anything wrong with their behaviour. They are incapable of looking inward or self-reflection and lack any empathy towards those left in their destructive bullying manipulative wake.

They have two states, victim or hero. You must worship them and give your undivided attention. Their happiness and wellbeing are your responsibility. If you do not worship them or are critical of their behaviour, you can expect to be attacked and have your character assassinated very quickly and very maliciously. They do this to shut any criticism down and will gaslight you so often you will start to question your own reality and lose who you once were in favour of the version they like so you aren't abused quite so often.
If you do manage to break up, don't expect the actual truth to comes out (they hate facts), they have already positioned themselves as the victim and you the abuser/liar/bully etc. They are experts at this, and unfortunately, the only real redemption or closure you can get from being in a relationship with them is to move on, go no contact (zero, none...at all) and live a happy life. Having had this experience and working through the process of rebuilding my life after losing everything to this type of person, I can highly recommend searching "Surviving Narcissism" or "Narcissistic Personality Disorder" on youtube. A considerable part of recovery is self-education. You can only improve after being in an abusive relationship, in my case for 15 years, and need to be careful that secondary abuse does not come from your doctor, psychologist, lawyer, family, friends etc. No one understands if they have not been there themselves...they just don't, and you need support to rebuild your happiness, personality, confidence and boundaries after they have been taken over by the very person that you gave so generously of yourself to. And all along the abusive trail, you feel like there is something wrong with you, yet, all the aggression, lies and manipulation (bad things) are coming from them. If it doesn't feel right, if you just can't seem to find your happiness and are walking on eggshells around your own partner, so you don't "cause an argument", talk to someone by describing the behaviour and how it makes you feel. Unfortunately, it is well documented that this type of abuser is an expert at what they are doing because they were formed as children and have been practising ever since. I will finish by saying, the only revenge recommended, is to get on and live a happy life. Don't tempt fate by doing anything which can be flipped on its head to make you the abuser or anything other than the good person you strive to be. Oh, and I must mention, the video she made and used against him in the 60 minutes story, will have been taken out of context and after she had pushed every button she had leant would get a reaction from him, and then used his reaction to the abuse to make him out to be the bad guy. As I said, this type of person is a bloody expert when it comes to manipulation for their own gain. BUT, they only pick on the giving accommodating people they judge to be better than themselves in some way because they are all about taking that from you. Financially, psychologically, social status, personality, happiness...anything and everything.
If you are in a situation of divorcing one, you must do your research and find legal representatives who understand this personality disorder and has had experience deal with them. About 5% of divorces end up in court. 99% of those have a narcissist involved motivated by how much more pain they can inflict because that is how they validate themselves. It is not a male vs female thing, it is a good vs evil thing. 

00:00 / ???