I’m a single father of two and have faced identical self centred parenting in my ex too. I’ve struggled for so many years trying, hoping and creating opportunities for their mother to take more interest and care. Many times my heart has broken deeply for my kids when they’ve needed her. And I tried to hide that truth from them as I wanted to protect them from that pain. I will always protect them and give them love, but I now parent with more honesty - because you are correct: it’s not our responsibility to make the other parent do more or care more. And constantly covering for them or painting their behaviour as acceptable or loving is more damaging than hiding it.