Thank you for this article, it is beautifully written and it just saved me from drowning, yet again. I miscarried twice 3 years ago and I am still not over it, and I am so tired of myself not being able to get over it. Not a single day, where I don't have the memory of seeing the embryo in the toilet. I heard it fall into the toilet. No one prepared me for this. No one told me that I will be bleeding more than usual, and as you said, no one prepared me to put a happy face on two days later at work - as if nothing happened...secretly changing pads in the toilet every hour cause I was bleeding and cramping so heavily. After 3 years of trying to conceive again, and failing, my relationship broke down in all this as well. He didn't grief as much, he already had a child with another woman. She was my age, already older, when she conceived and she was rather careless, even today with her child being 10 now, she does not care. It s utterly unfair, but she raised the bar unrealistically high for me. My fiance assumed that it is normal for a 40-year-old woman to conceive and have a child. It had worked with his ex, why not for me. What is wrong with me. Well, normal for her and for him, so it seems, but if you look at the statistics not normal for 80 % of women in that age group. She won the lottery and doesn't realize it. I blame myself, had I had not lost the child, I would not have also lost the love of my life.