Thank you for this article. I too watched Maid & felt validated that the emotional abuse I went through wasn’t in my head. I had some of my closest friends not believe me when I finally admitted to them what was happening. He’s a great guy & so charming they would say. When we first got together, there were red flags but for some reason I didn’t follow my gut instinct. It might have been the drugs we were taking & the fact that I was vulnerable from a nasty divorce. I would ask my friends if certain behaviours were normal as I hadn’t been on the dating scene in decades. Even when they said that it didn’t seem right, I continued to be with him. He wanted total control over me. When I tried to leave, he said he would hurt my children. When I finally left, I was the one who was demonised. I’m happy to report now that after five years, I have my life together. I had to start over again. I went to university & have a great job. I feel peace but it took a lot of work on myself to get to this place. I’m very careful about whom I let into my life now. I haven’t been in a relationship since & have no desire to enter into one. When my eldest son turned 22, I told him about what happened & he was completely blown away as my ex partner was so good at hiding his abuse. My ex wound up marrying the next woman he got into a relationship. I really wanted to warn her but everyone said to stay out of it. I wonder how she’s going? I wound up reaching out to one of his exes before me & she validated everything that had happened to me. It made me feel better that it wasn’t me. He has a long pattern of abusing women. I hope his wife one day contacts me so I can support her the same way his ex supported me. I hope she is ok
Having four boys in the country was no big deal but when I would bring them to the city, I would get all kinds of comments. The worst was always “Do they all have the same dad?” They looked exactly alike & it’s none of their business anyways!