This is so black and white. Why does one person have to stay home and one person work? Why are you striving for a 1950s household? There are countless ways to parent and run a household, and these days is so common to have 2 working parents and mixed roles. The term primary carer is mostly a formality and you can plan the care of your child however you and your partner feel. Why close the door to anyone who doesn’t agree to be a stay at home parent? You can be a successful parent without either of you staying home full time if that’s what you both want. Or if one of you does want to stay home full time, great. The point is to discuss with the person you love and figure out what is best for the both of you. Really, if all you don’t like about “parenting” is cooking and cleaning, then you can just pay someone to do that.