The thing is my affair was all about me and nothing to do with my husband. There was nothing he "lacked" and I didn't want to end the marriage. It's just that after 20 years, there is less sexual chemistry and more "why didn't you take out the bin- again?" 

I was a working mother of 2 small kids, caring for my elderly sick parents, looking after my young high-needs children, and supporting my husband, who has anxiety and depression. I was DRAINED. Then came along someone who made me feel sexy, valuable, adored. It was intoxicating.

The advice people spew online - "just leave if you're not happy, don't cheat!" - well, life is not always that simple? I didn't want to break up my family. I just wanted some excitement in my life.

My affair ended. I'm still with my husband. That grizzly, difficult time of life has passed; kids are older, parents are healthier, his depression is better. Our marriage has never been better. I'll never tell him about the affair - it goes with me to my grave!