What bothers me about these situations is that the women are always the only ones seen as villains. I'm happy you were able to salvage your marriage, but in my experience, if it won't be Nikki, the next time he decides to be unfaithful, it will be someone else. Your letter to her was merely to let her know that you won, but what exactly did you win?. Nikki will always have to face the demons of her past, you didn't have to remind her of that especially because you walked in the same shoes. Nikki was the lucky one; what your husband did to you was cold and you gave him a medal because he returned home.